Habemas Satanam!

We've got a pope. Now, we have to wait to see who it is. (Taps fingernails on desktop...)

Update: Via joe.my.god I learn that Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio of Buenos Aires, Argentina won the golden crown. His popeyguy name will be Popeyguy Francis I. 

I've never heard of the guy but I'll do what Joe did, and go to the Wikipedia video tape. And lo and behold, he's a gay-hatin' crazy guy:

He strongly opposed legislation introduced in 2010 by the Argentine Government to allow same-sex marriage. In a letter to the monasteries of Buenos Aires, he wrote: "Let's not be naive, we're not talking about a simple political battle; it is a destructive pretension against the plan of God. We are not talking about a mere bill, but rather a machination of the Father of Lies that seeks to confuse and deceive the children of God." He has also insisted that adoption by homosexuals is a form of discrimination against children. This position received a rebuke from Argentine president Cristina Fernández de Kirchner, who said the church's tone was reminiscent of "medieval times and the Inquisition".

Did you get that? "Reminiscent of 'medieval times and the Inquisition"! Wowee! We've got us a swell new popey guy! Hooray.

Catholics can rest easy. The new pope will be as awful -- or worse -- than the popeyguy emeritus. Good. Change is so difficult.