June 23, 2011

So much for baseball?

Dzzzt. OMG! Ft, ft, ft, ft . . .
Horrors! The satellite box for my TV system died today, or at least it seemed to.

The instant I realized this, I got tunnel vision. The room lengthened and odd angles appeared, as if reality was being stretched and distorted. Was it Einstein's cosmological constant in action? Had I accidentally taken some acid? And then in the distance, I saw it -- the baseball season being sucked far, far away by a . . . sea of static. No TV? No baseball? Sob.

So I did what any red-blooded American man would do: I called my sister. Because of the heart-stopping urgency of the situation, she came right over and jiggled things and (ta da) the totally dead piece of hardware roared back to life! It's a miracle! Somebody go wake Jeebus up and tell him!

Anyway, phew. It's like when the electricity goes out: sheer hell. But the season is saved!

1 comment:

Artichoke Annie said...

Look what I found under the title of TV Static Cured Me:

"To make a long story short I have found that putting myself in the theta brain wave state (the brain wave state of the fetus- which state , according to the internet, is very healing and stimulates the immune system) causes the normal regulation of my immune system again very rapidly and I am symptomless until my next bout sometimes not until at least a year later. But in the meantime you could say I am cured.

This method is obviously free and simple and I can feel results beginning within minutes and continued staring cures the problem and I am betting from what I know about this that it will cure many if not most CFS cases and that you will know almost right away if it is going to work because you will start to feel better within a few minutes= so I do hope some of you will try this.

Just unhook the cable or change the channel on the tv by using the knob attached to the tv set until you get a non broadcasting channel with no bleedthrough images-just pure snow or static. TURN THE IRRITATING SOUND ALL THE WAY OFF as it detracts for the response. Just stare at the static."

Who knew??? Next time don't panic sit back and enjoy the theta brain wave experience.