October 18, 2013

Dog's Ten Gentle Suggestions for Humanity

By wearing the Lid, I have come to understand Dog's plan for humanity. Though there will be further guidance in the future, here are Dog's Ten Gentle Suggestions for Humanity. There is the scent of redemption in each one.
  1. Be kind to each other.
  2. Don't covet stuff. Let other people have some too.
  3. Respect science. You're going to need it.
  4. The Messiah is among you! Hahaha. Just kidding. I’m the closest thing to a Messiah that you’ve got, and I’m merely a friendly algorithm from another galaxy.
  5. Don’t put anything up your nose.
  6. When a woman says no, go away.
  7. Make sports, not war (and have lots of consensual sex).
  8. Spread the food around so everyone on the planet weighs about the same.
  9. Read stuff, any stuff. Lots of stuff.
  10. Won’t someone please think of the children? Direct the majority of your resources to the youngest among you.
NB: Dog really wanted to give humans a hundred gentle suggestions but he's aware of our short attention span. So he went in another direction. These ten suggestions are dynamic. In other words, they will change as humans need to hear new things.

For now, rejoice! Dog has seen fit to share his wisdom. May these suggestions change your life for the better.

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