October 27, 2013

As the baseball turns

The soap opera of 2013 baseball is coming to a close. So it must be time for another "language of baseball" post. Here you go.

First, a final salute to backwards talk, an affliction that affects the majority of MLB baseball announcers:
"He pitches inside, and makes the feet move of Lucas Duda." This is a new kind of backwards talk.

"He's got a lot of ground balls tonight, has Niese."
And my favorite: "As, changing it up, is Peavey." The announcer could've just said Peavey threw a changeup, but no.
But they always speak in their own language. Here are a few examples:
After Roger Bernadina almost flew to second base, FP said "Boy, he was some kinda gittin' it around first base!"

He "pulled the string" on the curve ball. That means he made it dip at the very end.

"And he never overswang!"

"Awww! He overdove it."
And when the announcers are in NY, the phrases are a little bit Yiddish:
Craig Scheppler warming up: "and he's no schlepper!" Yiddish is built into the language of New York.
They also say creepy, offensive things like, "As Joe Ortiz, the 'portly left-hander' takes the mound." They seem to have no clue this might be wrong. And yes, that was another random "As" statement, this time spoken by a Texas Rangers broadcaster. 

They're just not very bright. One announcer noted that a player was "very fast on speed." I don't think he meant the drug. He just meant the guy was fast. As I say, not too bright.

The Mets have a player named Josh Satin. He was doing well for a while and I loved seeing a white sign in the stands. It had bold red letters that screamed: "Hail Satin!" Never saw it again. I'll bet some twit objected. People are no fun at all.

They also tell old stories. One broadcaster mentioned a player from back in the day. He said the player's name was Gwodz and "everyone called him eye chart". I love this sort of baseball trivia.

They have their own brand of humor, these baseball guys. And they say things in a very down-home way. For instance, when Derek Lowe was guest-broadcasting for the Red Sox, he said this about the catcher, David Ross: "He's funny as all giddyup in that clubhouse, let me tell you!" I'll bet he is.

Anyway, it wasn't my favorite season. But it'll do. It's baseball so I can't help but love it.

4 comments:

Artichoke Annie said...

You can write"Christie, you fat slob" but calling "Joe Ortiz, the 'portly left-hander' is offensive??

If I get a vote I would like it better if you referred to me a portly rather than a fat slob.

And it wouldn't be baseball without a quote from the greatest of quoters:

"Nolan Ryan is pitching much better now that he has his curve ball straightened out." ~ Joe Garagiola

Love your baseball snippets...


cm said...

Backwards, they do like to talk. Silly it sounds.

They called him eye chart. I haven't heard that in a while. I love it.

writenow said...

I think you're doing a character from Star Wars. Jarjar?

writenow said...

Just saw your comment, Annie. I love the curveball quote.

As for calling someone a fat slob, I only do that when the person is evil. Calling Cardinal Timothy Dolan or Governor Chris Christie fat slobs is acceptable and even fitting. After all, they're both literally pigs. And George Zimmerman is surely a fat slob.

But I don't think you should call a non-evil person fat or portly (or ugly, etc.). I mean, why do that? To hurt the person? Doesn't make sense to me. The guy was just some poor slob playing a sport. Let him be.