As the baseball turns

The soap opera of 2013 baseball is coming to a close. So it must be time for another "language of baseball" post. Here you go.

First, a final salute to backwards talk, an affliction that affects the majority of MLB baseball announcers:

"He pitches inside, and makes the feet move of Lucas Duda." This is a new kind of backwards talk.

"He's got a lot of ground balls tonight, has Niese."

And my favorite: "As, changing it up, is Peavey." The announcer could've just said Peavey threw a changeup, but no.

But they always speak in their own language. Here are a few examples:

After Roger Bernadina almost flew to second base, FP said "Boy, he was some kinda gittin' it around first base!"

He "pulled the string" on the curve ball. That means he made it dip at the very end.

"And he never overswang!"

"Awww! He overdove it."

And when the announcers are in NY, the phrases are a little bit Yiddish:

Craig Scheppler warming up: "and he's no schlepper!" Yiddish is built into the language of New York.

They also say creepy, offensive things like, "As Joe Ortiz, the 'portly left-hander' takes the mound." They seem to have no clue this might be wrong. And yes, that was another random "As" statement, this time spoken by a Texas Rangers broadcaster. 

They're just not very bright. One announcer noted that a player was "very fast on speed." I don't think he meant the drug. He just meant the guy was fast. As I say, not too bright.

The Mets have a player named Josh Satin. He was doing well for a while and I loved seeing a white sign in the stands. It had bold red letters that screamed: "Hail Satin!" Never saw it again. I'll bet some twit objected. People are no fun at all.

They also tell old stories. One broadcaster mentioned a player from back in the day. He said the player's name was Gwodz and "everyone called him eye chart". I love this sort of baseball trivia.

They have their own brand of humor, these baseball guys. And they say things in a very down-home way. For instance, when Derek Lowe was guest-broadcasting for the Red Sox, he said this about the catcher, David Ross: "He's funny as all giddyup in that clubhouse, let me tell you!" I'll bet he is.

Anyway, it wasn't my favorite season. But it'll do. It's baseball so I can't help but love it.

The wisdom of Hawk Harrelson

Hawk Harrelson

The other night I watched a White Sox game, mostly to hear Hawk Harrelson. I love this guy. He's an echo of a different time in baseball's history.

At one point during the game, he praised the starter, Gavin Floyd, in these words:

"He's just pitching his big, old behind off!"

Hawk, I love ya. And I hope you live forever.

Baseball headline and other funny stuff

"Buccholz tries to get Red Sox off the schneid at Comerica Park", screams the Chicago Tribune headline. (Meaning of schneid.)

Dog, I love the fact that baseball is back. The timing couldn't be better for me. I'm ready to lose myself in the baseball season. And hey, the Mets are 2-0 and the Yanks are 0-2. Woot!

A few funny things I've heard sportscasters say this season:

Gary Cohen about an old-time player: "Well, he was on the backside of his career then."

Hawk Harrelson: "In my time zone . . ." What he means by that is, "Back when I played . . ." I like that. It's creative. I wonder if he made it up.

And I always find it funny when they refer to a player as "a leader in the clubhouse". I picture a guy wearing only a towel around his neck, saying "C'mon guys! Let's go take a steam."

Baseball's back and I couldn't be happier.

A ham and egger

I watched a Mets/Giants baseball game from 2010 tonight. During the broadcast, Ron Darling referred to a player as a ham and egger.

When Gary Cohen asked what the phrase meant, Darling said "a ham and egger is a guy who goes on the DL with a minor injury the minute he hears he's gonna be sent down".

I like the term though I wonder about it. How does ham and eggs become the symbol of a useless guy who never steps up and always looks out for himself rather than the team? To me, the phrase ham and egger makes me think of someone who sends out for breakfast and eats it on the delivery bag at his desk. But then, I lived half my life in offices. It must mean something else to baseball players, huh? I wonder what.

Suggestions?

Baseball talk

Jeez, I haven't done one of these posts in a while. Let me make up for it. Here are some fun things I heard the announcers say during a baseball game.

Keith, back in the day.

Keith Hernandez, during a game: "Dizzy Dean was hit in the head in a double-play. They took X-rays and the report was that the X-rays showed nothing!" And all three announcers laugh.

I heard a new use of the term schneid. After Lucas Duda hit his first home run after months of trying, one of the Mets announcers cried, "And Lucas Duda finally gets off the schneid!"

I liked this one: "You might need a suitcase to visit that home run!"

Baseball talk: hittin' and pitchin'

I know, I know. It's been a while. Sorry about that. But here it is -- a baseball-talk post for the millions who've been hungering for it. Your long wait is over! Rejoice!

I love the way baseball announcers talk about hitters and pitchers. There's a special set of words they use for these players. Here are a few of the things I've heard the announcers say:

"He's got some pop!" This simple phrase is high praise in baseball. If you're a hitter, you definitely want to have pop.

"Ramon got most of that one!" I don't even know what this means.

"Adam didn't get it all, but he doesn't have to get it all to get it out of the park!" This one made me laugh. It was "Stone Pony" talking about Adam Dunn. The name "Stone Pony" also makes me laugh.

Batter's standing in the box, covered in mud, and the announcer says, "He's playing right out of his uniform!" I don't think I get it but it's fun anyway.

After a hit right down the middle, one of the Mets announcers said: "And up the schneid is Nick Evans!" Up the schneid? (He pronounced it "shnide". Baseball-talk aficionados will also note the use of the ever-popular backwards-talk.)

But it's the pitchers who seem to attract the most mystical comments: "These pitchers are at the top of their game because of the quality of the stuff that they have." Thanks for clearing this up for me.

New phrase on the block: Lately I've heard the announcers say of a team, "They've got bullpen." Emphasis on the last word. It means they have great relievers. I heard this for the first time recently and then heard another announcer say it a week later. I'm not sure if it's new or just new to me. In any case, it's a phrase like "he's got game." Interesting.

I also like a phrase they use from time to time when someone is hit by a ball at the plate. They refer to the guy as a "hit batsman". It sounds grand, this talk of batsmen. (Note the unofficial use of backwards talk by this blogger. This may be a contagious disease!) In any case, batsmen sound like a breed above and beyond mere mortals. Oh, to be a batsman!

To close out today, I want to point out that Yogi-isms are not gone from the game. The other day I heard an announcer say, "It's a great curveball but you don't want to overuse it too often." Almost worthy of Yogi, no?

That's it for today. I'll try to pump out another one soon. Till then, this'll have to do ya.

Stuff I heard while watching a baseball game

Random bits of baseball talk uttered by announcers during a game:

The bases are loaded, the count is 3-2, and the announcer says "What he needs here is a strike-out!" -- This from the department of baseball duh.

I love when teams that haven't been hitting finally start to get a few hits, and the announcer says, "The Giants have found their bats!" Makes me laugh every time.

When the announcers talk about an old player or recently deceased announcer, suddenly they sound high-toned -- or try to. Their entire way of speaking changes and we're treated to sentences like: "Just a superb gentleman, one of the finest I've ever been associated with." Indeed. Now, let's get back to the game.

Speaking of trying to sound high-toned (and coming off sounding ridiculous), I saw a graphic where they printed the question of the day: "Off of whom did --- hit nine grand slams?" I love "off of whom". I really do. They aimed for high-falutin' and failed miserably.

Lately, White Sox announcer Hawk Harrelson has taken to saying "Mercy! You've gotta be bleepin' me!" There's a reason he's my favorite announcer. 

They just go wild over pitchers, don't they? Pitcher talk is almost sexual: "You can't make a much better pitch than that one, with that kind of stuff on it, and in that location." They're truly roused by pitchers.

When a guy needed to throw a ball to a baseman quickly but threw it in a high, lazy arc instead, the announcer said, "It had a little too much air under it." Nice. Another way I've heard this said is "he threw a rainbow in." A little off the beaten path, but I like it.

There's an odd phrase I often hear the announcers use. If, for instance, it seems that the opposing team, leading 3-2 in the 8th inning, is about to make it a 7-2 game, the announcers may say, "You don't want them puttin' a crooked number up there." I like that. Unbalanced = crooked.

Okay, one more. When a pitcher was throwing easy-to-hit pitches I heard Keith Hernandez say the guy was "throwing a lot of fat pitches". I find that interesting because I think it means that's how the batter actually sees it. It's as if the ball is literally larger. When the pitcher continued this behavior, Keith said in an exasperated voice: "He's throwin' grapefruits up there!" Made me laugh.

Okay, that's it from the magic land of baseball talk. Heard any good phrases in a game lately?

Baseball's language of disdain and admiration

Baseball announcers have catchphrases to express their opinion of players. Here are a few of the things they say:

"He's a free swinger." This is a nice way to say the batter is a fool who will swing at anything.

"He got a couple of soft hits."  Refers to a particular kind of lazy, up-in-the-air, shouldn't-have-been-a-hit hit. No one is impressed, though it did the job.

"And Cano waves at the ball." Delivered in a tone worthy of Bea Arthur, this denotes a complete lack of effort on the batter's part. I love this one. He's saying the guy swung the bat like a five-year-old.

And let's not forget the deadly but silent backwards k, the symbol for "struck out looking." They might as well use a dunce cap for the icon. There is great derision in that backwards k. It's one of several silent "words" that appear in the language of baseball. More on this another day.

On the other hand, sometimes the sportscasters love the players:

"He got all of that ball!" = Wow, did he hit that ball! Wattaguy!

"I'm impressed at the way the 2nd baseman is flashing the leather!" = the guy's making incredible catches.

The other night, after a guy ran full-force into a barrier, the sportscaster said "Great play by Roberts, giving up his body to help his pitcher!"

That last one is part of the lingering mythos of baseball, which says harm to players is inconsequential -- mere collateral damage. Meanwhile, the guy has a concussion for at least six months and is half the man he used to be.

And now I have three questions for readers. I can't ferret out the meaning of the following baseball terms on my own. I could consult the google god, of course, but I'd rather depend on friends and hearsay. So here are my questions:

"That's a bang woof 'em". What the hell is that?

"And he makes a shoe-string catch!" I have no clue about this one.

And finally, why is the middle of the 7th called "stretch time"?

That's it for today but don't worry. I still have tons of notes to write up for baseball talk. These posts won't stop until the season does. (OMG! I didn't want to think that last thought. Purge, purge!)

Words, words, words -- and baseball!

Life intruded this week and prevented me from doing a word post. So I thought I'd mix it up today and talk about phrase origins and toss in a little baseball talk. (And I will get back to last week's off the cuff discussion of words at some point. I promise.) For now, let's jump in.

Tenderloin/the Tenderloin. In post-Civil War NYC, the police precinct west of Broadway between 23rd and 42nd streets, a then heavily Irish vice district. Whimsically so called because police assigned to the district found such lavish opportuniites for graft from gramblers, shady saloon keepers, vice hustlers, and organized criminal gangs that they would forget stew and live on tenderloin. (Some connection also to "high on the hog.") -- John Ciardi, The Browser's Dictionary. [PS from Keith: I can find no mention of "gramblers" on the net. It couldn't be a typo in a Ciardi book, could it?! They couldn't mean "gambler"; I won't accept this. Anyone ever heard of gramblers? Let me know in the comments.]

Tawdry. adj. Flashily worthless. Cheap and tasteless. (In British English only: as a noun: flashy, cheap stuff.) Origin: Sain(t Audry) via Brit-slurred Sin Taudry, which evolved into tawdry. Because on her feast day (June 23) a fair was traditionally held at which the most characteristic articles offered for sale were flashily colored and decorated neck scarves of the cheapest material ("tawdry stuff"). -- Ciardi.

Jack and Jill. The boy and the girl of the nursery rhyme. But what were they before they evolved into a boy and a girl? Note that they went up a hill to fetch a pail of water, a hilltop being the least likely place for finding a spring, pond or brook. As with much else in Mother Goose, the rhyme is probably based on some now lost reference. In early English and still in dialect, there is jack, a waxed leather pitcher with a spout, and gill, a liquid measure (now 1/4 pint, earlier ?). There is small point in speculating on the possible allegorical, political, or historical significance of the tumbling  jack and the following gill, but the boy and girl may (??) have evolved from them. -- Ciardi, once again.

And now on to a couple of baseball quotes from sports announcers:

"And now the 3rd baseman comes in, in case Ellsbury decides to lay one down." This phrase is used in baseball only for bunts, and I like it. You do indeed lay a bunt down. However, I can't help but notice that the phrase is used in English only for three things: one lays an egg, a bunt or a fart -- and only the middle one requires that you lay it down.

"And gettin' the wave is Mike Wilson!" This phrase means he's being waved home, i.e., the third base coach is literally whirling his hands in a circle to tell the runner to run from 3rd to home. I like it. Gettin' the wave. I also love 3rd base coaches. I just do. (Side note: the announcer's sentence is also a fine example of backwards talk.)

"The long ball really hurt him." In other words, too many of the pitcher's throws are hit for home runs. This is another instance of "the" being used to elevate a thing to superpower status. It's not merely that "too many guys hit home runs off him, " which would be a fairly normal way to say this. But no, instead we get "the long ball really hurt him." By using "the" before "long ball" it becomes a being, a sort of living creature -- and one that can hurt you, as it hurt this pitcher. "Look! The Long Ball! You expect it to have its own theme music and perhaps an action figure. The Long Ball is a character in the legend of baseball.

"And for the 300th time, Ortiz goes deep!".  I love this phrase. It has a sense of mystery to it. It sounds like something truly cosmic happened, like maybe the batter hit a ball so hard that he whacked it into another dimension! He went deep. I love it.

I hope this fills readers' word hunger for the time being. By the way, happy holiday weekend! Hit those beaches -- but drench yourself in sunscreen, you hear me?

The great "as" and "the" in baseball talk

"As this ball rifled by Carrasco!"

Baseball announcers pull these "As" sentences out of the air. In this instance, nothing in particular was going on, no one was talking, yet out of the blue one of the announcers began that sentence with "As". I don't get it but the announcers apparently do. They know that "As" is always an appropriate word with which to begin any baseball sentence.

"As Thole slides into first!"
"As the ball outside -- 1 and 2."

They do this umpteen times in every game. Sometimes you can even catch them combining baseball-language tools, using both the "As" move and the famous "backwards talk" move:

"As, coming down heavily, the rain may halt the game."

But "As" is not alone in this exalted position. "The" has a kingly power on the field. What do I mean by this? Read on.

"Jacoby Elsbury: the base hit!" 

Sure, you could just say "a" base hit but it's not quite up to snuff. No, "the" is the word you're looking for. Actually, it should be capitalized like this: "The Base Hit!". "The" indicates something grand has just walked onto the field. It's as if Greatness, usually On-High, miraculously descended to appear at the ballpark: The Base Hit!!! Here are a few more examples:

"What this guy needs is The Home Run!" It's as if he's calling the spirit of "The Home Run", an entity in itself, and asking it to grace the field. "A" home run wouldn't do in this instance. Oh, no, no, no. "The" is clearly called for here.

"He gets him at second; he gets him at first -- The Double Play!!" It's like a sighting of the Blessed Virgin Mary or the Queen herself: "Gasp! Look, mum! The Queen!"

Okay, one more thing from the happy land of baseball. I was watching Hawk Harrelson the other night. He announces the White Sox games and is my favorite sportscaster, hands down (strapped down, in fact). His usual on-air partner, Steve Stone, was absent for a few days and so his old co-announcer (whose name I forget; sorry) filled in for Stone.

These two guys were so giddy together, it was insane. They were like two little boys trying not to giggle as they served mass: totally out of control. At one point they tried to tell a story about Art Kushner, a baseball guy who now works at a fantasy baseball camp. They swore Art was the funniest guy in baseball.

So they trotted out this story that, as I say, they tried to tell -- but they couldn't because they were laughing too hard. You couldn't even tell who was speaking because their voices both ascended into an upper-upper register and remained there. They could hardly get a squeak out.

Finally, they managed to say that Art would tell stories about taking his dog Lucky out "for his morning drag." At the very mention of the dog's name -- Lucky -- they fell to the floor with laughter. And then, as they tried to get the punchline out, it seemed neither could do it. By this point, of course, I was laughing along with them. You do, when people get giddy. Finally they squeaked out: "He had only one leg!" After which they tumbled into an endless fit of giggles. I got a big kick out of it.

Okay, that's it for baseball talk today. Enjoy the games! Subway series in NYC this weekend. And my Red Sox are playing Annie's Cubbies! It's incestuous and fabulous.

The language of baseball

It's been awhile, laddies and ladies, but I'm finally ready to do another post on the language of baseball. Let's begin by talking about the pervasive folksiness of the sport.

As the baseball season began, a couple of times I heard announcers say of a player: "He really had a good camp." In other words, he did well in Spring training. It's all kids and camp to these guys. Same with calling the locker room the "clubhouse". Indeed. And where to we pay our dues to join? Sounds cozy.

One announcer said of a pitcher who had potential but really didn't understand his craft: "He puts his fanny right next to Buehrle's when they're not pitching -- and he's learned a lot."

Early in the season, it seemed the Mets couldn't win a game. When they finally did win one, Gary Cohen, one of the Mets announcers, said "Terry Collins finally got a chance to shake some hands and pat some rears on Sunday."

Said of a player who's always switching teams: "He's always wearing different laundry." I got a kick out of that line and it speaks to the camp-like reality of the baseball locker room, where fresh laundry is always the order of the day.

Said of a player who was just pitched tight inside: "That'll loosen up his jersey!"

As I say, it's very folksy in baseball-land. Okay, now a couple of baseball peeves:

"Nice hustle by (whoever)!" Really!? He's showing some special quality by running full out for first base while being paid millions of dollars to do so? Really?

And what's with these lawless umpires? "I think that's a little hometown scoring" said an announcer, referring to a player who was given a "hit" when he really reached on an error. And why? Because he was the hometown guy, a hero of the sport, that's why. Shifty umpiring sucks and yet it's totally accepted. This has to change. They're there to give an accurate call or they shouldn't be there at all.

And finally, just for fun, let's haul out some weird baseball names from the past. They really add to the sport, I think. I'll list more in a future post but here are just a few of these fabulous names: 

Stubby Clap
Skeeter Barnes
Firpo Marberry
Butch Husky
Johnny Dickshot
Dick Pole

It's hard to believe they're real people, but they are. Baseball seems to attract these names like honey draws flies. Kinda fun. Okay, that's it for today's baseball talk. More coming soon! I have a sea of notes to put up here -- and I guarantee you, some of them will loosen up your jersey.

Baseball's "backwards talk"

One day in the Magic Land of Baseball -- though no one can say which day it was, definitively -- a sportscaster did something very odd. He started talking backwards. And like a viral meme, this strange way of speaking took over the Magic Land of Baseball, where it thrives to this day.

What the heck am I talking about? Here are some examples:

"And back to the bag at first, is Ellsbury!"

"Very sharp tonight, is Chris Young."

Get the idea? Seriously, how could such a trend catch on? It's not like it sounds good. It's not like it's easier to say. It's just dumb. But does that stop them?

"He's got an idea up there for sure, does young Zimmerman."
"And trying to keep it a three-run spread, is Jordan Smith!"

It's insane. They do this in every game.

"Stayed back on it, did Ike."

"Almost throwing the ball away, was Runzler!"

C'mon guys, seriously. Listen to yourselves. How did a thing like this ever get started? Anyway, just one more odd thing about the language of baseball: backwards talk.

Baseball talk!

Now that I'm doing posts about the language of baseball, I always keep a pad and pen at my side when watching a game. I've been collecting words and phrases since before the season began. What's happening at this point is that they're falling into categories. Each category will end up being a post (like the recent one about the physical nature of baseball talk; that's one category). But some baseball talk is hard to categorize. It's just loose talk. Here's some of it, all from the mouths of our intrepid baseball announcers:

"He's been around Major League Baseball for a long time -- first with the Orioles, then the Tigers -- and he even spent a cup of coffee with the Reds." This seems to mean he wasn't there long. Nice: spent a cuppa coffee.

"And of course, he played in the Dominican." Baseball has no time for Republics. None at all.

One endearing thing the announcers sometimes say about a player whose at-bat went well, is "He has a nice idea up there." It's kind of sweet, like they're old men sitting in rocking chairs in front of a general store and commenting on the passers-by.They even repeat themselves like old men: "Yup, a nice idea."

Now, here's one that I've got a question about. As they announce the line-ups, when they come to the catcher they'll often say, "And Castro (or Varitek or whoever) gets the nod tonight." At first I saw this as just meaning that the manager picked this guy to play tonight. Nice and simple. They have several back-up catchers and this one "got the nod". However, I've come to realize they never say this about a second baseman. You don't hear ". . . and Pedroia gets the nod tonight at 2nd." Doesn't happen. So could this mean the catcher "gets the nod" from the pitcher, as in the pitcher nods to him when he puts down the right sign? (Another way this is said is "So-and-so gets the call behind the plate" which seems like a variation on the same theme: the catcher "calling" the game this time, rather than the pitcher nodding at him.) Peanut gallery input requested.

"And now the pesky Red Sox 2nd baseman, Dustin Pedroia, steps into the batter's box." Ever notice how they only call the small guys "pesky"? For instance, they never say, "and now the pesky Alex Rodriguez" (or god forbid, Barry Bonds). Pesky = tiny and swattable. It is a dismissive term reserved for short guys (who are also tough, which is what makes them so darn pesky).

Here's another one: If a team gets any players on base, they're "trying to get something going here in the (whatever) inning." Apparently if no one is on base, they're not trying to get something going.

And finally, I'm always amused when a pitcher makes his first throw of the day -- a really fast one -- and the announcer says: "95 miles and hour, right out of bed!" Makes me laugh every time.

Okay, kids, that's it for now. But I've got a ton more. Stay tuned.

The language of baseball

I love the way baseball sportscasters talk about the game. They say such odd things.

For instance, they present a united front on this point: the singular of Red Sox is Red Sock -- "He used to be a Red Sock, didn't he?" You hear this all the time.

Moving right along, the plural of baseman is basemans. -- "He was one of the all-time great first basemans." (Though they probably would spell it "basemens", if asked. Me, I don't see the need.)

I also like the way they talk about young players. They'll say, "He's a good-lookin' second baseman, yup, a good-lookin' second baseman." The first time I heard this, I looked at the guy and thought, "Well, he seems good-looking enough. Still, it's an odd remark." When, in a later game, I heard an announcer refer to a horse-faced young man as a "good-lookin' player," their intended meaning finally hit me.

Rather than put every one of these odd phrasings into a single post, I'm going to save a few so I can do another "language of baseball" post at a later date. In fact, I'll probably write several of them. It's a big field.

Do you have any favorite sportscaster language? Chime in.