August 22, 2011

Five Easy Pieces at the DMV

The last time I visited the DMV to renew my license, they took a few photos. Then the 50ish female clerk put four photos on the screen and said, "Pick one."

I said "I don't care. You pick one."

Instantly, the woman became apoplectic. "You have to pick one of the photos," she said, as if explaining to a child that night will come whether the child likes it or not.

I can't help myself -- I love to kick the supports out from under this sort of rigid fool.

I said, "I really don't care. Any one will do. Any one at all."

Her face darkened. She said, "You have to choose one of these photos. Pick one."

Then her face turned an even deeper red and she compressed her lights so tightly that I thought she might hurt herself. She stared -- and the look in those eyes! The woman apparently thought she was looking at the devil hisself, a creature that wouldn't follow rules! Lawdy!

"I don't care which one you use, " I said again. "You'll have to choose." And I smiled, very sweetly I thought.

After a long hesitation during which she glared at me incessantly, her eyes telling me everything her mouth never would, the woman finally stabbed a key. It was clear that she'd rather stick a spike in my eye. Sweet lady. She chose a nice photo, too. Thanks, DMV lady!

You know, next time I take a driving photo I think I'll toss my ponytail around to the front. It's more obnoxious that way.

10 comments:

Artichoke Annie said...

That is the funniest story ever. Lucky you... we aren't given choices here in MO, unless I suppose we closed our eyes.

writenow said...

I'm glad you liked it, Annie. By the way, I'm having trouble getting my email on this computer. It seems to eat the emails before I can read them. So whatever you sent me via email during this computer hiatus is going down the tubes. Sorry. Next week I'll have my trusty computer back (I hope).

Artichoke Annie said...

OK I have reclaimed three emails from the trash that I sent you. Email me when you are up and running and I will resend them to you.

cm said...

Would you believe I was at the DMV yesterday renewing my license? Weird, huh. The DMV is loaded with rhe type of people you described. Here is my tale: after waiting almost two hours I finally get to hand my carefully filled out paper work to the lovely clerk behind the counter. She tells me I didn't check yes or no for question two. I pointed out that question two says " if no to question one then yes or no to question two. Since I answered yes to one, then two was moot. She couldn't grasp this. She insisted that I check " no " for question two. I must admit, the way it was worded was confusing and I had to read it a few times to understand. But she works there. It's her job to understand the forms, isn't it? So I asked her again politely and she told me in a way that gave me no confidence that she knew what she was doing that her supervisor told her it was necessary to answer question two. No way they could both be wrong.
P.S. I chose not to take a new photo and instead I kept the 15 year old one. If I read your post before I went I would have let them take new photos and told the clerk to pick one. That would have been interesting.

Artichoke Annie said...

@cm - I can't believe how 'good' you have it there: you get to choose your pictures including one that will trim 15 years off your life. Do you know how much I would be willing to pay for that option?

cm said...

Yeh, the DMVs here bend over backwards to please. ;)

writenow said...

Nice to see six (now 7) comments on a post. You guys are doing great on your own. No input required. But hi, C.

cm said...

And a hey K to make it eight.

Artichoke Annie said...

Shall we.......

Artichoke Annie said...

...take it to the Tenth Dimension?