A Wisconsin professor named Sue Fondrie has won the 2011 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, where entrants try to write the worst possible opening sentence for an imaginary novel. The NYT write-up is here. I love her winning entry:
"Cheryl's mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories."Is that great or what?