A message to America's commercial bakers

Wonder! The creepy bread.

Listen here.

You cannot take the Wonder Bread recipe, shape it into a long loaf and call it Italian bread. Do you hear me?! You cannot do this.

And you cannot call your "Italian" loaves "crispy" if we can wrap the loaf around our necks like a scarf. You cannot do this.

Have you ever tasted Italian bread? There are these places called "Italian bakeries". Here's what you do: find one, trot on over there, and buy a loaf of Italian bread.

Now, hold it in your hands. Look at it. Feel it. Smell it. And then taste it. Ahhhhhhhh!

Now you have a starting point. Get to work!