October 12, 2012

Xmas Carol is available at the iBookstore

Hooray! Your choices have expanded. You can buy Xmas Carol at Amazon, at the Smashwords bookstore -- and now at the iBookStore on your iPhone or iPad. (It's also available at the internet iBookStore on the web.)

If you've never used iBooks, just open iBooks on your iPhone. You want to be on the page that has the bookshelves. Click on Store (if you don't see it, click stuff until you do) and type in "Xmas Carol". Then click on buy.

Understand that you must buy the book. This is not optional. You won't have a decent Christmas unless you read this book. It's that crucial to your existence. And I care about you; I really do.

So here's what you should do. Drop everything in your life immediately -- kids, jobs, gardening, whatever -- just drop it. Then buy the book and sit down and read it. Don't worry about anything. I've got it covered. You won't have to attend to any life duties for the next week! I've given you a special dispensation, just like the pope gives out. All you have to do is read Xmas Carol. 

And when you're done reading, go to the site where you bought the book (a mere $2.99; just saying) and write a review. Empty out your soul, child! Tell the world what you experienced as you read Xmas Carol. People everywhere are waiting to hear your words.

Reading and reviewing the book is now the sole purpose of your existence. All other goals and urges have been canceled for the duration. You have your orders. Special bonus: sanctifying grace for every reader! (The pope told me it's okay if I say that.)

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