May 16, 2011

I have decided not to run for President

My associate, Nils.
It's true. After a long talk with my associate, Nils, I have decided to remove my hat from the ring. I shan't run for President of the United States after all.

It was Nils who convinced me. He said, "You'll have to eat all sorts of sickening food on the campaign trail. You're too precious. You have important, ungodly books to write. You mustn't subject your stomach to unpalatable fare."

There is no way to argue with logical rigor of this sort. Besides, Nils is always right about everything. Therefore, I shall not run for President of the United States in 2012. There! I've said it.

I know this news will come as a shock and a disappointment to my cadre of loyal supporters. But with your -- and Nils' -- continued support I believe I will go on to write books that will make you proud! The country, alas, must go on without me. It's a bit like that scene in Evita, isn't it? Except for me not dying, and all.

Don't cry for me, my cadre! Things will work out in the end. I promise.

6 comments:

writenow said...

Oops. Forgot to say "Art by cousin Carmine." But you all knew that anyway. He's famous for contributing art to this site. I hear he's getting a lot of six-figure offers for his cartoonage as a result of his exposure here. More power to him! (Nils likes him too.)

Artichoke Annie said...

Well if you are not going to run then neither am I, but I want my hat back.

Pardon my suspicions but perhaps Nils is finagling his way into being a sole contender. ???

writenow said...

I say we get Amanda Lear to run. She's got her finger on the true issue: the Chinese are walking all together. Billions!

Artichoke Annie said...

Minor problem, birth certificate, but I think we can get that fixed. Carmine....Carmine....are you there?

cm said...

I'm here. Wow! Heavy stuff going down here. Niles talked Keith out of running. Annie bows out too. I need to take the Ferrari out for a blast to clear my head and sort it all out. Or should I take the Countach.

writenow said...

See? Didn't I say the lad was doing well?