January 27, 2015

Hey kids, let's redefine marriage

Despite the headline, I don't really want to "redefine marriage". I want to kill it. I say we toss marriage in the dumpster and treat it like a plague from olden times. 

Seriously, with all these puffy old conservative gits saying we have to pass a constitutional amendment to limit marriage to opposite-sex couples (it sure sounds messy when you say it that way, doesn't it?), I figure the term "marriage" is permanently ruined. It stinks of wingnut.

So let's create a new deal. We'll "join with" others, and these others will be whoever the hell we want to join with -- singles, groups, kids and grandparents, whatever. Let's do this as a time-framed contract where you enter into a joining for five years, one year, 20 years -- whatever works for the two (or three or nine) of you. And at the end of the contract, the joining goes poof. No strings attached.

This way people could avoid divorce and courtrooms. You sign up for five years, you get five years and that's that. You can re-up at the conclusion if that is your (and your partner's or partners') wish(es). Neat and clean.

If you want to protect kids, a couple (or trio or whatever) can take out a contract for 20 or 25 years. Got that? I don't want to hear a woman's voice yelling "Won't someone please think of the children?!" We can do it in a way that protects kids just like dumb old marriage used to.

If everyone starts joining instead of marrying, marriage will die out. It will be seen as a tired thing that old farts used to do. That would be fine with me. So I say let the gits have their goddamned marriage amendment. We'll just move on to something new. And this time it'll be something that works for everyone.

PS: The "historic" snowstorm dropped about...an inch of snow. I've still got power and I don't even have to shovel the sidewalk. (Not that I ever do that, of course. I'm just saying.)


Artichoke Annie said...

OMG, a sensible solution....

much like Casey's politics solution.... you get elected to a six year term and then that is it... done, over. No re-do's.

Simplification. Yes!!!!!

writenow said...

Thanks for your vote. Hi, Annie. One day we will rule the world.