Vatican to atheists: never mind

"You're going to hell, after all." That's the message the Vatican has for atheists. Remember last week when the pope said even atheists can go to heaven? Well, the Vatican would like you to know that he never, never, never said such a thing (although he really, really, really did):

But in an "explanatory note on the meaning of 'salvation,'" the Rev. Thomas Rosica, a Vatican spokesman highlighted that being "good" alone is not enough to be saved. People who know about the Catholic Church, he explained, "cannot be saved" if they "refuse to enter her or remain in her."

Ah. So the refurbished message is this: If atheists are "aware" of the church -- even if they also know that this is the church where the priests rape the kids and the higher-ups hide it -- they must join the congregation and salute the rapist priests. Only then will they be handed a ticket to heaven. What a holy message! Hallelujah.

Another mindless Catholic twit, Rev. John Zuhlsdorf, said on his blog:

“[The pope] was clear that salvation is only through Christ’s Sacrifice.  In other words, he is not suggesting – and I think some are taking it this way – that you can be saved, get to heaven, without Christ.”

But he did suggest it, Blanche. He did. Anyway, is Zuhlsdorf a mind-reader? If any clarification is necessary, the infallible guy should provide it. For now, we're just going to believe what Francis said: if an atheist is a good person, he'll go heaven!

Note that the article in the Christian Post, which I linked to above, is titled: "Atheists are still going to hell, says Vatican spokesman". Such a sweet, sweet church.

Tough noogies, fellas. I'm going to heaven, and that's that.

Hat tip to Jerry Coyne.