July 30, 2012

I have promoted Milo and his flock

Milo, the proudest and finest goose in the world, who heads the flock at my local pond, was in for a surprise this morning. He didn't see it coming.

I says to him, "Milo, first of all, I am promoting your flock. Henceforth it shall be a Legion." And then I really shocked him. "And, Milo," I says, "you are now a we." In case he didn't get the big picture, I explained this further. I says, "Milo, what this means is from now on, you can say, 'We are Legion' -- even when you're alone! Say it proudly, Milo, and say it often."

I know the Vatican is reading this post. They always do. I hear there's a full staff that attend to my blog and try to come up with counter-prayers, to keep me at bay. Hmph. As if they could.

Listen to me, Vatican guys. If you don't knuckle under to my gay atheist demands...all of them, I will send Milo's Legion to your accursed city and direct them to poop on your graven images -- but only after they poop on your heads. Take that, Vatican.

So, yeah. Milo got promoted. Cool, huh? Hark, I hear the Legion now. They're passing over the house. I think I'm beginning to understand their language. I can't be sure, but I think I heard one say, "I can't wait to poop on the popey guy!"

PS: I'm still sick. I think a spider's bite is at the root of my problems. So this pathetic post is probably all you'll find here today. Where is wellness, I ask you, where is wellness?!


cm said...

I heard and read that there are now black widow spiders in NY.

writenow said...

Yes, I read about that. Recluse spiders are a bigger problem, I think. One ate the tip of my friend's chin off while he was sleeping. How did we get from Milo to spiders, by the way?

cm said...

Your PS mentions spiders.

writenow said...

See how sick I am? I don't even notice things. This is why I've put Xmas Carol aside for now. I can't trust my judgement at the moment.