June 16, 2012

Prostitution is a very good thing

Auntie Christ
A guest post by Auntie Christ

There's nothing wrong with prostitution as long as no one is being coerced. Sex is good. Sex is positive. Sex is fun. And if you can make money from it, more power to you. Girls, take those pearls! You're pretty and you deserve it. (That goes for you too, boys!)

How is prostitution any different from people using their good looks to get ahead at the office? And what about politicians who are handsome but don't have even one brain cell in their head? They get elected anyway. Why is that? Prostitution, that's why. People want to give you things if you're attractive. It's the way life works.

Not everyone finds it repulsive to be handed a hundred-dollar bill in exchange for having sex. To prostitutes, it's a fair deal -- and johns agree. So please tell me why anyone who isn't directly involved in this transaction should have a say about it. They shouldn't. This is America, a place where you're supposed to be free to do what you want, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else.

Prostitution is a deal, just like any any other deal we arrange in life. It's based on an agreement: services for pay. It's just like being a gardener or an accountant. You accept the deal and in this way, you find employment. And bully for you!

So why do some people come down so hard on prostitutes? I'll tell you why. They're jealous because no one will have sex with them for free, never mind pay them for it. It's sour grapes and nothing more.

In closing, let me give a shout-out to marriage, the traditional, long-standing prostitution agreement that is protected by law, society and the priests. I'll give you sex for life if you pay for me and the kids. It's a deal, just like any other.

I say "Go, my children. Have sex and prosper. And always remember that what you're doing is completely natural -- and Auntie Christ is on your side!"

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