June 26, 2012

Breaking News from the Vatican!

I imagine we'll be seeing "breaking news" headlines from the Vatican now that they've got an official Fox News spokesperson.
In his new job as the Vatican’s senior communications adviser, Burke, 52, will be counseling Pope Benedict XVI and his closest staff on how to better project the Catholic Church’s image to the rest of the world.
I can just see it now. The popey guy appears on-screen. Below his image, big red letters blink with the word: "ALERT ALERT ALERT". And then the popey guy says, breathlessly, "A miracle has occurred in Transylvania! The Blessed Virgin Mary has appeared to thousands!"

Oy. It fits right in, doesn't it? Heck, he can use direct Fox News feeds and call them his own. After all, they say the same sorts of things the popey guy says: anti-gay, anti-Obama, anti-sanity stuff. It's a miracle! And I heard on Fox News that this whole set-up was preordained in the Bible!

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