Dog!

You know when you hear a noise in the next room, and you can't account for it? Like I just heard a major crackling noise coming from the kitchen or hall area. It went on for a bit and freaked me out. So I went there and stood, still and vigilant. But I heard nothing and there didn't seem to be a logical source for the crackles. It was as if they came out of nowhere.

I think it was dog. I think dog was trying to contact me. He must have a message for the world, something he wants me to reveal on my blog. I think it's something important.

But I don't know what to do. The problem is that I don't know how to contact dog, but I'll try. Okay, I'm taking deep breaths now and I'm calling dog. I'm telling him to use me to deliver his message to the world.

Okay, I think I feel something. I'm going to let dog take control of my fingers now so he can type his message for the world, using me as his sacred receptacle. The next words you read will be dog's.

Relax. Enjoy yourselves. But also accomplish something now and then. And don't eat too much. You heard me.

Gasp! I just saw those words. I swear to you that I didn't type them! I'll take a lie detector test, if you want. But right now I'm overwhelmed and I have to go lie down. Dog!