April 5, 2013

Not praying until the camera is on you

Wait! Don't pray yet. The camera isn't ready.

I've complained many times on this blog about baseball players who pray before each at-bat. It isn't the Major Christian League, guys. It's America's favorite game, baseball, and there are no gods anywhere in baseball (other than Bryce Harper, of course).

The pitchers are the worst offenders. Some even get down on their attention-seeking knees to pray. But lately I've noticed that timing plays an essential role in these celestial matters.

The pitcher could, of course, pray before he got on the field. But where's the aren't-I-godly percentage in that? No siree. A good Christian pitcher has to pray on the mound, where god intended him to pray.

But only lately have I noticed that many of these holy pitchers wait until the last moment, when they're sure the camera is on them. Why pray as soon as you get to the mound, right? After all, maybe some people aren't looking your way yet. It's far better to wait until everyone else settles down and you're sure the camera is on you. That's the godly time to pray.

Because you want to get your message out. And that message is:

AM I HOLY, OR WHAT?!

1 comment:

Artichoke Annie said...

Reminds me of the school prayer debate a hundred years ago. I remember sitting in class thinking who would know if I was praying or not. Back in the day when I prayed I had a direct line, didn't need to close my eyes, kneel, cross myself or anything. It all happened quite miraculously right there inside my head just between me and god, sometimes even while she was getting her nails done.