March 2, 2011

It's good to have dirt on people

Sometimes people tell you things that can be useful later on, when they act up. For instance, I was washing dishes in my kitchen recently while a friend visited. When I walked away from the sink to clean a counter or two with a sponge -- and didn't shut off the water -- she said, "You're wasting water! That harms the environment, you know."

I slipped instantly into my best Bea Arthur voice and said, "You throw TVs down canyons."

She said, "Oh. Yeah." And that was that. As I say, it's good to have dirt on people.

I love hauling out my Bea Arthur voice, even without ammunition. Just the other day in a drug store, I asked a woman behind the counter for a decongestant, and she said, "Without drowsiness?"

I slipped into my best Bea and replied, "No. With."

 Hard to say which was more fun but I lean toward throwing TVs down canyons. Got any of these? Had a snappy rejoinder for someone? Do tell.


Artichoke Annie said...

I wish I had a Bea Arthur voice... and that "look" to go with it. Love it!

writenow said...

Gravelly is good!

Artichoke Annie said...

On a recent rather blustery day at Wings of Hope, a co-worker said to me as I was preparing to leave, "You're not going out in this weather?"

I looked at her and replied, "It's the only way I can get home."

She performed an almost perfect 'spit-take' with her coffee.

writenow said...

When you get them to spit up their coffee, you know you're a major success.