The epidemic that is ravaging major league baseball

It's shocking but true. There is an epidemic in major-league baseball. Players on every team have been seen pointing at the sky during games.

As far as anyone can tell, the players seem to think that planes far above their heads are guiding every movement of the bat and baseball on the field. Curiously, it further seems that these players believe they must appease the nebulous agents who operate such planes.

And so in every game you'll see players pointing at helicopters, passenger planes, blimps -- and even clouds that look like planes. It's a painful thing for fans to have to witness. The players are obviously deluded in an extremely serious way. The poor things!

So keep an eye out during the next game. And when a player points toward a plane, pity the poor fellow. He knows not what he does.