Cop talk: it's a special language

I happened to catch the following on TV and through the miracle of TiVo, was able to play it back to ensure that I recorded the words faithfully. 

At a press conference, a police spokesperson was answering questions about an elderly couple who had been brutally murdered.

The reporter asked, "Were they killed with a hammer?"

And the police spokesperson replied:

"A hammer was, in fact, an instrumentality causing blunt trauma injuries to both of the deceaseds."

I love this stuff. They have their very own language. I get a kick out of hearing the self-conscious, tortured phrasing they come up with. Their words are an attempt to put a police shroud over everything, to claim the death as their own. So they make things as opaque as possible and sound ridiculous doing so. Still, it's kinda cute.