January 25, 2014

The danger of looking like an American at Sochi

The United States recommends that American attendees at the Sochi Anti-Gay Bombing Olympics not wear American flags on their heads while traveling to and from the games. Nor should they sing "America the Beautiful" as they parade through the festive streets of the godforsaken region.

Instead, the US asks that Americans "dress dowdy" in an attempt to look like typical Russians. "Wear gray or black only; no colors. And make sure your clothes are at least 20 years out of date," they caution. "A hint of vodka on the outfits wouldn't hurt," one official added.

Good advice. Have fun at the games!

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