Baseball's just the start

"Oh, sure," they said. "Watch baseball. It's innocent."

Uh huh. But what they didn't tell me is that baseball is a gateway drug, leading to football and other scandalous perversions. It happened to me. I know.

I thought I was safe but I was naive. Now I'm barreling down that wide dark road, with pigskin everywhere I look -- and nary a safe place to hide. Football sucked me into its warm, fragrant, testosterone-laden embrace -- and there's no way out. I'm hooked.

I can't get over it. Baseball was just the gateway drug. I had no idea.