November 9, 2011

Let's declare every grain of salt to be a person!

The little girl is a hint.
You know how salt tastes, so you know it's actually a human being. What else could make that burst of wonderfulness in your mouth? Only a human being could be that tasty.

And yet grains of salt are constantly sprinkled on the tables of restaurants, they fall to the ground from french fries, and old people even throw granules over their shoulder to ward off Satan. These abuses must stop!

Let us band together and demand that every grain of salt be declared a human being! If we don't, the slaughter of innocent salt will continue. It's up you to, people, and our esteemed Congress. We must demand that they drop everything -- no matter what it is -- and concentrate solely on the fate of salt granules.

People, it's the right thing to do. You know it and I know it. Call your congressperson today! And don't worry about wasting their time. They're not doing anything anyway.

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