April 24, 2011

I don't want to worry anyone but . . .

Doctor Vito is missing! He and I were in constant contact until his appearance on Al Jazeera but right after that, he stopped responding to my emails. Then late last night I received a tweet from Chiffon Reeve of the Doctor Vito Foundation -- and it's as bad as I feared.

Chiffon, who was traveling with Doctor Vito, said she left their suite at a Libyan hotel so Doctor Vito could have sex with some women. She was afraid to leave the building because the streets were wild with protests, so she brought her laptop to the lobby and spent a few hours visiting atheist web sites and listening to the explosions and gunfire.

She said she must have dozed off at some point because she awakened at 1:15 am. And when she packed up the laptop and returned to their room, she found it empty! And on the bed, arranged in a cross, were ten special-issue Vatican bibles -- the rare "Pilgrim" volumes. Chiffon's blood ran cold the moment she saw the evil tomes. Doctor Vito had disappeared as a result of religious foul play!

It has been 18 long hours since Chiffon gave me the awful news. I haven't heard a peep since her tweet -- and that means Doctor Vito is still missing!

I know that a huge number of Libyans read this blog. I beg you, please put your revolution aside for the moment and help us find this invaluable intellectual! The man is a noted expert! That's Doctor Vito's image at the top of this post. Memorize his face and keep your eyes peeled for him! Please know that I understand you're busy right now and this request comes at a bad time for you, but for heaven's sake drop everything and help us find Doctor Vito!

Rest assured, Worldsers. I will keep you advised of any late-breaking news. For now, keep your fingers crossed! And Chiffon, if you're out there, tweet me!


Artichoke Annie said...

I think you may have done Dr. Vito a disservice to smack his face all over your blog where millions and millions of readers can see it AND of course recognize him immediately.

I am of the opinion that Dr. Vito left on his own accord to, if truth be know, get away from Chiffon, who in the best of times can be quite annoying.

Hopefully Dr. Vito now sits, fully bearded, in a small cafe just across the Libyan border, enjoying the full roasted flavor of an imported bean along with a fresh and flaky croissant.

Using a discarded Google Account found amonst the rubble.

writenow said...

I admire your positive outlook (and share your shaky view of Chiffon Reeve) but I fear it's worse than that.

In the past day, I received numerous emails from concerned Libyan readers. I'm sorting through them right now but I haven't slept in 24 hours, what with the worry, so I may miss something crucial. I know! I'll make some espresso and return to the task in a few moments.

In any case, I hope you're right. Please let him be safe!