Warding off the malocchio

Me, battling the mallochio.

The post about old Italian ladies in black revved up some memories. I remember my mother telling me how to ward off the malocchio -- the evil eye. If you had a headache, if you were sick, or if things in your life were going badly, this meant the malocchio had your number. So you had to outsmart the demon by doing everything you could to ward it off before it got to you. Prevention is always the answer, even in meaningless folk tales.

Here is how you ward off the malocchio. You make a fist with your primary hand, leaving the index and middle finger straight. Then you bring your hand to your mouth, with the two fingers pointing forward. And you make this sound: "ft, ft, ft, ft, ft, ft". You actually pronounce the f and the t, and you do it very quickly. It's sort of like choreographed spitting. And all the while, you have to scrunch your face into an angry, threatening display, to show the malocchio your inner strength. And you turn your head from side to side, spreading the "ft, ft, ft, ft" all over the place. (You never know where the malocchio might be). This is 100% guaranteed to keep the malocchio away.

I didn't want to ask my mother to pose for a photo while doing this, because old people think you're making fun of them when you do stuff like that, especially when it's going to end up on the Intertubes. So I asked my sister to take my photo as I did battle with this powerful, ancient and evil spirit.

You know what to do, lads. And remember, now that you know this technique -- you will be safe for all eternity. Talk about a blog bonus!