April 18, 2011

Warding off the malocchio

Me, battling the mallochio.
The post about old Italian ladies in black revved up some memories. I remember my mother telling me how to ward off the malocchio -- the evil eye. If you had a headache, if you were sick, or if things in your life were going badly, this meant the malocchio had your number. So you had to outsmart the demon by doing everything you could to ward it off before it got to you. Prevention is always the answer, even in meaningless folk tales.

Here is how you ward off the malocchio. You make a fist with your primary hand, leaving the index and middle finger straight. Then you bring your hand to your mouth, with the two fingers pointing forward. And you make this sound: "ft, ft, ft, ft, ft, ft". You actually pronounce the f and the t, and you do it very quickly. It's sort of like choreographed spitting. And all the while, you have to scrunch your face into an angry, threatening display, to show the malocchio your inner strength. And you turn your head from side to side, spreading the "ft, ft, ft, ft" all over the place. (You never know where the malocchio might be). This is 100% guaranteed to keep the malocchio away.

I didn't want to ask my mother to pose for a photo while doing this, because old people think you're making fun of them when you do stuff like that, especially when it's going to end up on the Intertubes. So I asked my sister to take my photo as I did battle with this powerful, ancient and evil spirit.

You know what to do, lads. And remember, now that you know this technique -- you will be safe for all eternity. Talk about a blog bonus!

5 comments:

Artichoke Annie said...

You made me chuckle at this one. And I have to admit - I peeked last night - your blog is like Xmas - but waited responding until this morning.

Now that I can ward off the malocchio I can conquer the world!

writenow said...

I'm going to have to post later to thwart your early peeks. Nah, read them at night if you like.

It's good to see you absorbed the import of this post: you can indeed conquer the world now that you possess this knowledge. I look forward to seeing what you do with this new life I've given you.

lsjarvi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lsjarvi said...

Greetings -

I'd like to use your description of how to ward off an "evil eye" in a supernatural thriller I'm penning. If this is your grandmother's personal, unique method and you would rather I not use it, please let me know. Regardless, thanks for considering this and thanks for the belly laugh! - Lorraine

writenow said...

Lorraine,

But of course. Use it. My family doesn't own this, nor is it unique. It was a widespread belief in Italy at the time. Good luck with your book!

Keith