Pope porn

Be still, my heart. I can't believe the news.

VATICAN CITY — Retired Pope Benedict XVI joined Pope Francis at a ceremony Saturday creating the cardinals who will elect their successor in an unprecedented blending of papacies past, present and future.

Is that papal porn, or what? Just think: two popes for the price of one! You can almost hear the cries of the church barkers: "Come getcher popes heah, we gotcher two pope heah!" Oh, the excitement!

After processing down the central aisle at the start of the service, Francis went directly to Benedict, clasped him by his shoulders and they embraced. Francis greeted him in the same way at the end of the service, and Benedict removed his white skullcap in a sign of respect as Francis approached.

I don't know about you, but I am clutching my chest, my pearls and my bible right now. What uplifting news! There's even a rumor that the two popes (I love to say that) will appear together in a Spearmint chewing gum commercial!

Oh, the times they are a'changing. I'd write more but I'm so moved, I have to go kneel in the garden and pray. Two popes, two popes, two popes in one! Be still, my heart.