February 3, 2014

About "choosing" to be gay

We gay people have been trying to clarify this issue for ages. But it's not working.

Bigots love to talk about how sexual orientation is different from race because we chose to be gay. Uh-huh, just like they chose to be straight. But this obvious retort doesn't seem to have diminished the vast number of people who rely on this senseless "argument" to put us down.

I used to harangue people who use the term "sexual preference" instead of "sexual orientation". Preference pretty much puts it right out there. The message packaged with the phrase is that we "chose" to be gay because we "prefer" it. In the old days, I'd try to fight this by saying that the term "sexual preference" is incorrect since it implies that we stayed up late one night and decided to go gay.

But the astute observer will notice that my efforts and those of others have had virtually no effect on the bigots. Because they're stupid, they don't even understand the distinction. It seems we need a new move -- and I've got just the thing.

From now on, let's call ourselves The Chosen. This has several bonuses. First, it positively reeks of religion and let's face it, religion is our primary enemy in this fight. If people didn't believe in fairytale gods, gays might be fine. But no, teh bible and all.

But the phrase also screams the truth, that we did not "choose" this orientation. We were, in fact, "chosen". BTW, I think we should use the upper case T and C, to make it sing. We're not the chosen, we're "The Chosen". Okay, kids. You know what to do. Spread this far and wide.

Choice, my ass. We are and always will be The Chosen.


Artichoke Annie said...

I was going to comment this morning but couldn't quite get my act together before I had to leave the house.

I wonder if part of this clinging to the "choosing" to be gay thing, except for the wing nuts of course, is because one does choose to come out of the closet or not.

Thinking back to my corporate working days in the '70's fews gays felt comfortable being totally 'out'. I worked with a man who never spoke about being gay at work at all.

We became friends and I knew how much of a friend I was to him when he invited me to his home for a party and I met his long time partner, who happened to be a school teacher. Needless to say in those days school teachers would never divulge being gay.

I find it stupid when people say someone chooses to be gay but I do see why some people choose to stay closeted, but find it sad that society puts that much pressure on individuals that some people have to live a lie.

I think we are getting better, except for the "nuts" out there and I am afraid they are a hopeless case.

writenow said...

Thanks for the thoughtful comment. Back in the 70s, I used to be furious at the closet cases at work. I would lay into them for not standing up for themselves. They were not pleased by my behavior, but I felt it was a matter of life and death for us. You have to stand up and be who UR. I never had any question about this. Your comment brought those days back to me. Hi Annie!