Evil sky god speaks through popey guy

Shady popey guy.

An AP story reveals that the popey guy isn't mean. He's just enacting the sky god's plan. Here's how the story begins:

VATICAN CITY (AP) — Pope Benedict XVI began his eighth year as pope on Tuesday after spending the waning days of his seventh driving home his view of the Catholic Church, with a divisive crackdown on dissenters and an equally divisive opening to a fringe group of traditionalists. 

He's a fun guy. The article is an attempt to understand "Benedict's recent moves to quell liberal dissent and promote a more conservative brand of Catholicism" Is it all coming from the evil popey guy's mind? Is he the worst thing that ever happened to Roman Catholicism? Nah, they say.

The pope promised [in 2005] not to impose his own will on the church but to rather listen "to the word and the will of the Lord, to be guided by him, so that he himself will lead the church at this hour of our history." 

See? It's the sky god who wants to punish liberal catholics, nuns, women in general, and gays. The poor popey guy's got nothing to do with it. The words fall out of his mouth, sure -- but it's not his fault! He's sweet -- cuddly, even. It's just that the sky god is making him say these awful things.

The Vatican last week put those words into action, cracking down on the largest umbrella group of nuns in the United States, the Leadership Conference of Women Religious . . . and accused the group of taking positions that undermine church teaching on the priesthood and homosexuality, while promoting "certain radical feminist themes incompatible with the Catholic faith." 

Indeed. Let's all attack the nuns for having a heart. That'll help the church's image. But it's not just the nuns.

[O]n the very day it announced the crackdown on the U.S. nuns, the Holy See said it was nearing agreement to bring an ultra-traditionalist conservative group of Catholics back into communion with Rome after two decades of schism.  

To critics, the coincidence was remarkable: the Vatican was in a way rejecting the U.S. nuns who had embraced Vatican II and its call to go out into the world to serve the poor, while embracing the Society of St. Pius X which had rejected Vatican II.

But as he says, it's not him; it's the sky god who whispers in his ear. What can the poor guy do?

Is this guy the best thing that ever happened to the Roman Catholic Church, or what? He's given us pedophilia scandals that he himself facilitated. And he's begun a literal pogrom against gays throughout the world. (And let us note that the popey guy is a big queen. Closet cases always lash out at openly gay men. It's what they do.) He clearly is the most evil pope in ages. If he keeps this up, the church won't last another ten years. Go, popey guy!