Popey guy sees miracles

Guess who?

The popey guy had nothing to do today so he "canonized" three people, including good old Luigi Guanella. What did Guanella do to merit being called a saint? Why, he performed a miracle -- and did so after his death. Eerie, huh? Here's the story behind the "miracle":

Glisson, then 21, had gone into a coma after falling while in-line skating without a helmet; he had two brain surgeries but his doctors didn't give him much hope, according to Guanella's biography. A friend of the family who worked at a Guanella center for the handicapped gave Glisson and his mother two of Guanella's relics, and the family prayed fervently to the Italian priest.

After nine days, Glisson came out of the coma and today works in the family construction supply business. 

Wow, huh? Sounds like stuff that happens every day in hospitals all over the country -- but this time it's a miracle! Why? Because some guy gave the family dead bits of Luigi and they prayed to it. Nice. These people are savages, and stupid ones, at that.

There ain't no miracles, folks. Not one miracle has ever occurred. Wake up!

At least some guy livened up the festivities at the church as the popey guy was giving out the sainthoods. He climbed up high and burned a bible, screaming, "Where is Christ?" and then threw the burning volume of nonsense down on the idiots below. So at least there was a floor show. Otherwise, I hear these things can be really boring.