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HONOLULU (AP) — The second miracle in allowing a nun to soon become St. Marianne Cope involves the healing of a New York woman who had an infection that was destroying her organs.

Details on the miracle were revealed for the first time Tuesday by the Sisters of St. Francis of the Neumann Communities in Syracuse, N.Y. They say a bag of soil containing Marianne's bone fragments from the Hawaii peninsula where leprosy patients were exiled was pinned to Sharon Smith's hospital gown. She was cured after months of prayer to Marianne.

Sure sounds miraculous to me! Sign me up! That popey guy really sets the bar high, huh? With standards like these, it's a wonder they don't make 50 new saints a day.

Excuse me while I go pin a baggie filled with dead people to my pajamas. Yuck.

PS: Is that first sentence in the AP article awful, or what? Yeesh.

Popey guy sees miracles

Guess who?

The popey guy had nothing to do today so he "canonized" three people, including good old Luigi Guanella. What did Guanella do to merit being called a saint? Why, he performed a miracle -- and did so after his death. Eerie, huh? Here's the story behind the "miracle":

Glisson, then 21, had gone into a coma after falling while in-line skating without a helmet; he had two brain surgeries but his doctors didn't give him much hope, according to Guanella's biography. A friend of the family who worked at a Guanella center for the handicapped gave Glisson and his mother two of Guanella's relics, and the family prayed fervently to the Italian priest.

After nine days, Glisson came out of the coma and today works in the family construction supply business. 

Wow, huh? Sounds like stuff that happens every day in hospitals all over the country -- but this time it's a miracle! Why? Because some guy gave the family dead bits of Luigi and they prayed to it. Nice. These people are savages, and stupid ones, at that.

There ain't no miracles, folks. Not one miracle has ever occurred. Wake up!

At least some guy livened up the festivities at the church as the popey guy was giving out the sainthoods. He climbed up high and burned a bible, screaming, "Where is Christ?" and then threw the burning volume of nonsense down on the idiots below. So at least there was a floor show. Otherwise, I hear these things can be really boring.