Set your stopwatch right now

Here comes jeebus! (Photo: Time)

Did you forget? Silly goose. This Friday is the Apocalypse. We know this because Robert Fitzpatrick says so. And he's always right, well, except for the last Apocalypse he predicted.

One delicious thing I did not know until reading the linked article is that he's from Staten Island. That is so perfect.

Don't forget to give all your possessions away to ensure that you're among the saved. You'll surely be Raptured if you do this. Saved! Woot!

And don't worry if you're not saved. Mr. Always Right says: "There should be no suffering whatsoever for the unsaved. They will simply vanish into nothingness." Well, hooray for that too!

Wingnuts today

Here's what the wingnuts are thinking about are repeating today. This is from Worldnutdaily:

A mysterious, pale green figure seen in televised news coverage of the Egyptian riots has prompted some viewers to ask, "Could this be the Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse?"

The footage, provided by Euronews and subsequently seen on MSNBC, CNN and uploaded over a dozen times to the popular video sharing site YouTube, captures the fiery, violent protests in Cairo this past week … and something else.

Between the crowds of protesters and barricades, the video shows a flowing, pale green image that resembles an erect rider atop a horse in Medieval-like barding. The ethereal figure remains for a few moments before floating over protesters' heads and off the screen.

The last of the biblical Book of Revelation's Four Horseman of the Apocalyse, the "pale rider" is said to be the bringer of death and the forerunner of "hell" on earth.

Are all these events the natural order of things, or warnings of the end times described in the Bible? This DVD probes the answer ...

Oh, I see. The wingnuts are selling something. Surprise, surprise. And rubes all over the country will get their panties in a bunch over this. It's wingnuts gone wild. You almost find yourself pitying these people. Just kidding. What a bunch of jerks!