Drones are big this Xmas

A man on the teevee said that this year, at least a zillion people will get a drone for Xmas. Think about that for a moment. I mean, what could go wrong, right? Piece of cake.

Seriously, I can't believe that drones can be purchased by any nitwit with a few bucks in his pocket. This is not a good idea. Starting on December 26th, I guess you should expect to see lots of tiny air vehicles populating a sky near you. Wow, huh? What fun.

Some of these things are 50 pounds or more. How'd you like one of those to fall out of the sky and hit you in the head? Or perhaps it'll just hover near you and the rotor blades will nick your eye. And of course there will be many, many drones looking in bedroom windows; that's a given. If you're female, you can probably expect to see one at your window within a month.

But I guess it's not all bad. I assume some people, particularly people of color, will choose to have a drone hover over them everywhere they go. This way, if a police officer decides to assault or kill them, there will be a video record of what occurred. (Not that such records do any good; just ask the Garner family.) Still, it's a moderately good use for these things. Gotta try, right?

You can't fly drones too high. Nuh-uh. That's against the law -- and if there's one thing all Americans do, it's follow the law. But I guess it's okay to fly them really close to the ground to, you know, take photos up women's skirts. I could go on and on, suggesting awful uses for drones. You can probably come up with some on your own. These things are going to change the way we live. Just imagine the creative uses criminals will find for them. Put guns on a drone and shoot your local prosecutor. Fly them into police helicopters. Truly, the sky is the limit.

Moving right along, the law says you have to hide your gun so innocent children won't get their sticky hands on it. But what about your drones? I haven't heard anything about a requirement to keep them out of the hands of children. And let's face it, any self-respecting kid over the age of five should be able to operate one of these things. Maybe a little kid will send one out over the neighborhood and then forget what he's doing and walk away, leaving the drone flying, but unmanned. That won't be a problem, right? I mean, it won't crash into anything dangerous, like a propane tank, and cause a fire, or anything. Nah, it'll be fine.

Just consider how interesting life will be after everyone has a drone. Why, it'll be a brand new world. I can't wait to see how this plays out on the streets and in the skies of America. It should be lots of fun. Ho ho ho!