The pencil gambit

After hearing that Joe Gerardi penciled in Alex Rodriguez' name for tomorrow's Yankees game, I decided to pencil in Pope Francis' name on my gay agenda: tomorrow, 3pm, espresso at my place. I hope he's not sleeping at that time. I hear they keep strange hours in Italy.

Hmmm. I think I'll offer him ladyfingers with his espresso. Once he's had his fill, I'll straighten him out about the whole gay marriage thing. I'm glad Joe Girardi suggested this.

I saw "Europa Report" yesterday

I think it's great that you can rent a movie before it hits the theaters. It seems iTunes makes you pay 6.99 for a pre-release rental, just a bit more than their typical price. Fine by me.

So, Keith, how was the movie? You know, I was disappointed while watching it. I wanted "more", whatever that might mean. But a day later, my reaction is kinder. It wasn't bad at all.

The best thing is that it seemed real. The scenes looked like something out of a real mission to Jupiter's coolest moon. Since the story is told through the ship's camera system, there are many split-screen images, which isn't a bad thing. In fact, it adds to the realism.

Europa, Jupiter's icy moon, looked terrific. I felt like I was there. And the story they laid out, while not great, is adequate. It paints in extraordinary detail what it might feel like to be so far from Earth -- and the possibility of help. I certainly wasn't bored.

On the other hand, the script and character development were a bit absent-minded. When you watch a movie like "Alien", you know those characters. That's not true of this movie. In fact, I hardly cared about the characters. And as for the script, there were things they should have skipped because they weren't essential to the plot.

But hey, it was a realistic-looking sci-fi movie -- and you don't see many of those anymore. Out of 5 stars, I'd give it about 3.4. Did you see the movie? What did you think?

Dog will save us all

That's Dog in the photo at left. He appeared to me last night, in his second dogly Visitation to my humble home. What can I say? Dog loves me. (Don't worry. Dog is omniloving. He loves you, too.)

As you know, there is no god. But there is Dog. He is not an omniscient, all-powerful being like the nonexistent god. He's just Dog, the most insightful creature ever to visit the Earth.

A note about the above image. Dog is notoriously camera-shy. Because I knew this and was hoping he'd visit, I had a camera set up behind a two-way mirror. Sneaky, huh?

See, Dog likes to look in the mirror. During his last visit, he told me (in his charming language of barks) that there are no mirrors in the Realm from Whence He Comes. So it's a novelty for him to see his reflection and he gets a real kick out of it. (Apparently, only Earth creatures look at themselves in mirrors. Dog says that on all the other inhabited planets, nobody cares what they look like.)

Because Dog knew I had a mirror, he wore that cross around his neck. He thinks it's hysterical, as you can see from the smile on his face. In fact, right after this photo was taken he fell to the floor in a fit of giggles. Dog says religion is the funniest thing about humans. Apparently, no other intelligent race in the universe has come up with such a silly idea. Just us. It gives earthlings a certain...reputation.

Anyway, all this is by way of saying "I bring you good tidings." I will deliver Dog's Suggestions for Humanity in an upcoming series of posts. For now, know that dog is here -- for you and for me. Always remember: In Dog's love, there is salvation.

Stay tuned. Arf!

("Photo" of dog drawn by Conor Cunningham. Thanks, Conor!)

Make Olympics in Russia the Gayest Ever

That's the headline of an opinion piece at CNN today. Here's an excerpt:

[L]et's turn the Winter Games into the gayest games in history. Let the Russian police, if they want, arrest every athlete, every coach from Europe, North American, Australia and other forward-looking countries -- that includes you, Uruguay, Brazil, Mexico and South Africa. The teams should march during the opening ceremonies brandishing rainbow flags, holding hands, proclaiming that every one of them supports equal rights for gay and lesbians -- in Russia and everywhere else. Make it an "I am Spartacus" moment for the world.

I think the Sochi Olympics may end up being the biggest gay party ever. Russia is a pig sty and everyone's going to realize this by the time the games are done.

PS: Remember, the excerpt is from an article at CNN, not at Joe Jervis' blog. The world is with us on this one.

Today in our cartoon Congress

For the 40th time, Republicans were pushing legislation through the House targeting President Barack Obama's health care overhaul on Friday, this time a bill preventing the Internal Revenue Service from implementing any part of that law.

Way to go, guys. Zillions of Americans are out of work, and this is what you spend your time on. You are Nero, fiddling our lives away. Thanks ever so much for your "service", you damned idiots.

Another view of the pope

Spiegel Online has an interview with a gay theologian named David Barger. The interviewer asked Barger how he viewed the pope's recent pronouncements about gays. I was surprised by a few things he said. Here are the relevant excerpts from Barger's response:

[Pope Francis] didn't say anything revolutionary. The notion that gays shouldn't be discriminated against is already in the catechism. But when Francis says in the same breath that gays should please not advertise their sexual orientation, he puts himself in a category with Russian President Vladimir Putin, who supports laws against "homosexual propaganda."

Francis said gays shouldn't "advertise their sexual orientation"? I never read anything about that. You'd think the American media would have jumped on this statement, if those were the pope's words. And here's something else:

Francis's statements often contradict each other. So he first said that atheists are devils, only to say shortly later that they are just as good as Christians. Then it was up to his spokesman to correct the statements and put them into perspective accordingly.

Here we go again. When did the pope say "atheists are devils"? I never heard that, and googling it got me nowhere. Can anyone direct me to those statements?

Barger is not at all pleased with this pope. He said Francis' remarks provide no real change. Let me leave you with his final statement:

Francis's remarks may well bring about improvement in the predominantly Catholic countries. But in Germany we are having this discussion on a different level. As a gay man in Italy, you are satisfied just to get the crumbs that fall from the table of the lord. There, gentle discrimination is already a step forward. It's completely different in Berlin or in Cologne: We have no need to eat the crumbs. Either we sit at the table or we will not take part in the dinner.

I love that ending. And as for Francis, who knows? But no matter what, he's lightyears better than Ratzi. At least, I think so. Time will tell.

Support Bradley Manning

Apparently we can write letters to Bradley Manning. Something tells me he might need a cheerful letter or two right about now. I'm definitely going to write him many letters of support. I found the following information on a web site. Here's the address:

Commander, HHC USAG
Attn: PFC Bradley Manning
239 Sheridan Ave, Bldg 417
JBM-HH, VA 22211

I was surprised to find this information so easily. I just googled "how to write to Bradley Manning". It seems we could have been writing him all this time. Drat. But now I'll make up for lost time. I hope you do, too.

IOC needs to cancel the Sochi Olympics

Russia will enforce a new law cracking down on gay rights activism when it hosts international athletes and fans during the 2014 Olympics in Sochi, the country’s sports minister said Thursday, appearing to contradict assurances to the contrary from the International Olympic Committee.

As I said yesterday, there can be no Olympics in Sochi. Russia is far too barbaric. The more savage members of its population are running amuck now that the government is encouraging sociopathic behavior against gay people.

But should the lilly-livered IOC foolishly decide to hold the 2014 Olympics in Sochi, I hope Russia is ready to arrest all the American athletes. Because I suspect they'll trot onto the field wearing pro-gay "propaganda" slogans. If they don't, I'd be shocked.

Once again, for the record: Russia is a pig sty.

Who's that at my door?

This fellow has an odd habit of looking through my glass door. It's kinda weird.

He's one of three (whatever-they-are's) that I've been feeding for the past few years. Like most yard animals, they adore peanuts. But he's suddenly become a peeper.

When I took this photo, I was standing at the door and saw him run directly up the stairs, stand on his hind legs, and peer in. For some reason, he didn't see me. Since I had my iPad in my hand, I was able to take this shot.

Later, I was puzzled by his behavior. How could a large rodent understand windows? If you saw him climb the stairs, there would be no doubt in your mind that he did it so he could look inside. Weird.

A few days later, again when I was standing right there, he ran up the stairs and looked inside. But this time, I bent down and waggled my fingers right in front of his face. There was no reaction at all, so I don't think he's "looking in". Maybe he thinks the glass is god, and he's just grokking its wonderfulness.

In any case, I will never leave that door open again. I love animals but they have to stay outside. I'm funny that way.

PS: Is it a groundhog? I've been asking on this blog for years but no one ever answered.

Piggy Timmy drops another turd: Pope was "high"

Cardinal Timmy Dolan is an ugly man. And he has a blog. In a post called "What the Holy Father Said", he further "clarifies" the pope's kind words toward gays. I guess Timmy didn't say enough nasty shit on TV, so he moved to the internet to let loose. Here's how he begins his post:

Well, since everybody else is talking about it, I guess I should.

Timmy, you haven't shut up about it since it happened. He goes on (and on, and on):

I’m speaking about, of course, the Holy Father’s remarks to the journalists on the plane returning from World Youth Days in Brazil. For one, the Pope was visibly “on a high” from his first international pastoral visit in Rio.

So the poor pope didn't even know what he was saying? Cuz he was too high from all the adulation? Apparently, at least according to Timmy.

Two, mercy is the word that seems to summarize Francis’ talks...Three, mercy was not just the theme of those radiant World Youth Days in Rio, but also of his now renowned hour-and-twenty minute comfortable conversation with the press on the plane.

So that explains it. The pope was just feeling too merciful when he said those kind words about gays. Cuz he was too "high" from his trip. Ah, now we see.

So, his brief remarks on homosexuality were about mercy...No change in Church teaching here . . . or no intended “correction” to a more “dour” approach by his predecessors. 

He's referring here to Benedict's dyspeptic remarks about gays. We all know how hateful closet cases can be, and Benedict was a major closet case. But according to Timmeh, the new pope's kind words do not erase the old pope's hateful words. (Benedict said those with "deep-seated homosexual tendencies" shouldn't be accepted for the priesthood, and it is he who invented the tag "intrinsically disordered" for gay lives.) Sweet, sweet man, that Benedict. Kinda like Timmy Dolan, come to think of it. But no, Timmy assures us the new, kind words mean absolutely nothing. Gay is still very, very bad. Thanks, Timmy!

Then he veers aside for a moment to take a gratuitous stab at women priests, saying women "hardly need a Roman collar to lead and serve in the Church."

Ah, so the church won't ordain them because they "hardly need a Roman collar", eh? Sweet, Timmy. Just like everything you say. And it's very "catholic" of you to take the time to stab women when you're mostly knifing gays.

Then he wonders if the "Holy Father is frustrated" by all the coverage generated by his remarks about gays.

But, as usual, the press predictably brought these weary issues up, and have given them more ink than any of the other noble themes that rang through Copacabana Beach.  It’s not the Church that is obsessed with those topics, but the media!

Yes, Timmy. And that's why you spend 80% of your time fighting gay marriage. Because the media is "obsessed" by these topics. But not you. You're a rootin', tootin', prayin' man made in jeebus' image. How lucky for you. If you'd been born a girl, you probably would have become a waitress -- because it would allow you to flap your mouth at the customers all day long. But jeebus had a plan for you. That's why he gave you a penis. God sure knows what he's doing, huh?

Go away, Timmy. Just go away. All you do in these appearances is flaunt the rotten state of your soul. Then again, your remarks probably push more people away from your evil church, so I guess it doesn't matter. But you sure are sickening.