I'm sick of the new pope

I've had it with this new pope. He's worse than Ratzinger. Oh no, wait! They haven't hired the new guy yet. Never mind.

So far, we've seen only black smoke coming from the Vatican chimney -- three times. There's a lot of silly news about how they created this intensely black smoke but they're just guessing. Only I have the inside scoop.

It seems an argument broke out between a flinty-eyed reformer-cardinal and an iron-willed curia-cardinal. The moment they landed the first punches, flames filled the chapel. The result was a conflagration that nearly burned the Sistine Chapel to the ground. In the end, as both cardinals lay on the floor exhausted, an acrid, black smoke rose from their bodies and exited through the chimneys overhead.

And so it goes in the holy conclave. I thought I'd be able to tell you everything that went on in there. You see, I have a spy who is part of the proceedings. But so far, he's only sent four cryptic words. I'd like to share them with my readers:

"Cardinals farting like trumpets."

That's all I've heard. And you know, I really don't care. Truly, I'm already sick of the new pope. Aren't you? After all, there is no god, so it really doesn't matter. And no matter what, the new pope will be as bad as the last one.

Birds update

3 in 1. Find Waldo.

I've advanced to bird feeders and it's great fun. This first image shows three things. The blurry, clear thing on my window is a feeder for cardinals. It has seed that they like in it. If you click the image, it will grow larger.

If you look through the clear feeder, you'll notice a male goose in the background. He's a ton of fun. We sometimes have up to 80 geese on the property, but that's only at the end-of-the-season party that they all come to. At this time of year, each pair gets its own pond and this is the male from our pond's couple. Yes, I've been feeding him. He noticed all the others getting fed, and wanted in. I am now at the point with him where he comes over to me when he sees me. He'll stand right by my side as I pour the feed out. He's huge and it's a little scary because he's on edge, what with it being breeding season. I love feeding him, though. I suspect he has a mind like a dinosaur; I think this each time we interact.

And you can also see the main feeder on the left. If you look closely you'll see a little guy, a vesper sparrow, hanging onto a perch at the bottom. I've seen up to 12 birds at once at that feeder. They come in groups of one species, it seems, spacing themselves out over the day so each species gets a chance to eat. Nature works things out so well. 

Vesper sparrow.

Here's a close-up of the little guy. As I say, I think it's a vesper sparrow. Ain't he cute?

Plus, the other little guy at the bottom stopped by the clear feeder. I think he's a tufted titmouse. It's going to be a great summer, watching all these guys. I sit by my window for hours lately and it's like a show. I've always had a soft spot for birds, ever since I was a kid. They're so decent and understandable, and they fulfill all their duties in life like soldiers. I admire them so much. And as far as parenting goes, they are much better than humans. Just saying.

With a magic mix of baseball, birds, books and blogging, I'm thinking this is going to be a hell of a good summer.

Tufted titmouse.

I
love
having
bird
feeders.
It's
the
best
thing
ever.