The hottest summer

I just walked outside to feed the Legion of Geese and it was sweltering. Not only humid but hot as a blast furnace. Which reminds me...

Lately, I've heard several weather forecasters say we're "entering the dog days of summer". What planet were these people on for the last two months? The dog days are just beginning? It's been one big Dog Summer. These folks are pre-programmed. It's August so they speak of dog days. It's mindlessness personified.

And as long as I'm on a weather rant, where the hell are the drag-queen weather-girls? I can't believe that in this day and age, a major city like NY doesn't have at least one fun, drag-queen weather-girl. It's 2012, people. Get with the program. Or is being a straight female a requirement for the job?

I'm ignoring the male weather forecasters since they all seem to be gay -- but they're not allowed to act gay. I heard from a reliable source that one of the local gay NYC weather guys was told by the network to "butch it up". Jeez. They can't even wear fun outfits and make fun of stuff, as is our god-given right. Seriously, why is the weather (and the news) so straight?

Okay. As you were.

Scorched!

The sun. (Image: NatGeo)

Here in New York it's at least a thousand degrees outside -- and they say it feels hotter because of the humidity! Phew. Is this is the new normal? I don't think I like it much.

First there was the never-ending snow, then the floods when the snow melted, then came the tornadoes, and now we've got fires, a crop-killing drought and a most oppressive summer. And just think -- the brunt of the hurricane season lies ahead. It seems we can't expect the weather to be normal anymore. It's sad, like saying goodbye to someone you used to enjoy.

How are you handling the heat? Staying inside with the A/C? I confess that's my M.O. Heat and I are old adversaries and I never win. Give me cool air, Autumn and Winter. (But for dog's sake, would someone hurry up and invent winter baseball? I'd be happy to watch Dominican baseball, minor-league baseball, last season's baseball -- any kind of baseball! I'm beggin' ya!)

A ton of snow sounds refreshing right now. Maybe I'll go put on some Xmas carols.