Llama story in today's news

A mean llama?

"The report says the 74-year-old Lenahan called for help Tuesday after a llama named Baby Doll slipped on wet grass while running to greet her and knocked her down, causing her to hit her head on concrete. It says there's no evidence the llama was acting maliciously."

Have they ever seen a llama? I mean, look at that face. And they all look like that. Malicious indeed. Then again, Wikipedia tells me:

They are extremely curious and most will approach people easily. However, llamas that are bottle-fed or over-socialized and over-handled as youngsters will become extremely difficult to handle when mature, when they will begin to treat humans as they treat each other, which is characterized by bouts of spitting, kicking and neck wrestling. Anyone having to bottle-feed a cria should keep contact to a minimum and stop as soon as possible.

Now, if the story had said right-off-the-bat that this was a spoiled, bottle-fed llama, I wouldn't be criticizing them. Just kidding. I know nothing about llamas. (Cria?) But they're adorable and I was looking for an excuse to post a picture of one. Awwww. It's so cute! I think I need one. "Dear Santa..."

The training of a young baseball player

There are three strenuous early training programs that every young baseball player must make his way through. This is where the lads learn the skills of the trade and become (drum roll) Major League Baseball players.

In order of importance, these programs are:

1. Spitting School
2. Eating Sunflower Seeds School
3. Blowing Your Nose Without a Handkerchief School

If a rookie fails to be certified in any one of these areas he is dismissed forever from Major League Baseball.

No one reports on this stuff, so I have to.