I used to like Skippy

Hormel Foods apparently has a hankering for a peanut butter and bacon sandwich. The company primarily known for Spam and other cured, smoked and deli meats said Thursday that it's buying Skippy, the country's No. 2 peanut butter brand, in its biggest-ever acquisition.

Ugh. I'll never eat Skippy again.

Cheap perfume

Image: Perfume Shrine

All perfume smells cheap, no matter what you pay for it. However, my axe to grind today is of another sort.

I bought many, many boxes of tissues at the supermarket the other day. To me, a table is undressed if there's no box of tissues on it. They must be everywhere. This morning, I opened one and there's some dreadful, cheap, floozy perfume on the tissues! Ugh.

If you're going to put cheap perfume in an item, tell me on the box! I want to avoid this item like the plague. Do you understand? Apparently these days they do it backwards, only stating when cheap, floozy perfume isn't included in the item. So now I have to search for perfume-free tissues? When did they get the bright idea to dip tissues into a bottle of Joy perfume, anyway? What idiot came up with this idea? Grrrrrrrrrrr!

Before closing the topic out, what's with these women who dump a bottle of perfume over their head before leaving the house? They're a menace -- a walking cloud of noxious odor. I swear, when one of these women comes anywhere near me, I cringe. Get a grip, ladies. And maybe go have your nose looked at. You can't smell stuff.

Gee, I wonder why

Traces of blood and fragments of muscle, tendon, skin and hair found on 2,000-year-old stone knives have given researchers the first conclusive evidence that the obsidian blades were used for human sacrifice long ago in Mexico.

"These finds confirm that the knives were used for sacrifices," Mainou said.

Sky gods, anyone? And of course, today we see Catholics imbibing the "body and blood" of jeebus -- every day, if they want to. Religion is sickening on so many levels.

What is wrong with the media?

I see so much off-the-wall wording in media stories. It's all over the place:

Romney trumpets rush of conservative endorsements . . .

Obama touts whatever . . .

Seriously, what's wrong with these people? They can't just write a clear and factual news item. Instead, they jam every story into one of their pre-fab molds that are designed to make politics into a game. It's not only stupid, it's destructive.

An emboldened Obama . . .

A volley of words from . . .

Gingrich soldiers on . . .

I mean really. They're myth-making. Their goal is not to report anything; it's to create waves, wonderful waves that will bring the papers and TV stations more business. Talk about ulterior motives. They're playing games with the lifeblood of our country and they don't give a damn. It's sickening.

And the following actual headline is no better:

April leap or May slog, Romney on pace to GOP nod

Oy. I think this means the headline writers have fallen off a cliff.