The hoodoo that they do

If you'd like to read about the hocus-pocus surrounding the election of the new pope, visit this site. They've even got a photo of the flying saucer urns the cardinals use to collect the papal ballots. I don't need their photo because the urns look just like the flying saucers you see here. But I must share the Extra Special Tone the site uses to describe the mechanics of the papal election:

At the altar, the ballot is placed “on a flat disk, like a paten, and then — without touching the ballot — it is tipped into a chalice, and is then collected from the chalice and counted.”

After the ballots are counted, and that initial tally is verified, the results are announced to the conclave, but never to anyone else; no records are kept, and the ballots are burned by a couple of masters of ceremony who are the only non-cardinals in the chapel.

I love the way the ballot is "tipped into a chalice" without a human hand touching it. It must be Very Special Indeed. And as for the men who deal with these Special Bits of Paper -- well, let's just say I understand now why they call them princes of the church. I'm in a state of awe, just thinking about these Men and their Seriously Powerful Juju. Wow!

Bunch of twits.

Jesus and Edna appeared to me last night

Edna and Jesus Christ

I couldn't believe it. Jesus and Edna Christ were standing in the middle of my living room. It was a miracle!

Edna did most of the talking. Here's the headline: Jesus never returned to Earth or answered our prayers because he wasn't the one with the magic powers. That's Edna's bailiwick.

But now she's back! The snafu that kept her from us all these years is one of those inexplicable god rules: Edna couldn't appear on Earth until someone knew she existed. This weekend, when that Christian lady announced the discovery of the papyrus that mentions Jesus' wife, the magic stay was lifted.

So now Edna is available to answer our prayers. From now on, as long as we pray to Edna, babies won't get fatal diseases; children won't be buried alive in earthquakes; and no one will suffer endless pain! Praise Edna!

She's ba-ack and she's ready to respond to your prayers. Hallelujah!

PS: Toward the end of the visitation, Edna took me into the bathroom so Jesus wouldn't hear her words. Once the door was closed (and locked), she leaned close and whispered in my ear. (Her breath smelled like cookies, BTW). She said unto me, "Your book, Xmas Carol, will be the most popular novel ever written. You've done a fine thing, my son." And then she said something so marvelous: "Your entry to heaven is guaranteed." Wow!