Timmy opens mouth again. World shudders.

Anti-gay bigot extraordinaire, Archbishop Timothy Dolan, said something stupid on the teevee. I know, he always does that. But heck, why not share his priestly words? Here they are, in all their godly glory:

“We get backlash from those who think we are too gracious, and compassionate, and loving, and accepting of gays,” Dolan said after celebrating Mass at St. Patrick’s Cathedral.

I'm sure Timmy receives millions, if not trillions, of letters expressing this sentiment -- on a daily basis, no less. This must be what every Catholic thinks. Who knew?

Then again...perhaps Timmy is wrong. Horrors, that can't be! The marvelous archbishop, wrong?! Hmmm, a simple Google search seems to show that Catholics not only support gays but are in favor of gay marriage:

US Catholics support gay marriage by a larger margin than ordinary Americans despite Church teachings that forbid it, a new poll out Friday has found.

The Quinnipiac University poll found 54 percent of Catholics support same-sex marriage while just 38 percent are opposed, compared to a 47-43 percent margin among all American voters.

I guess Timmy-boy don't cotton to no surveys. Nuh-uh. In fact, Timmy Dolan won't give up until every gay and transgender person is dead. Only then will his church of terror return to its proper state of sanctifying grace. And that's all that matters.

You're quite a guy, Timmeh. If hell was real, there would be a fiery cell waiting for you down there. (Not to worry, though. Hell isn't real and neither is Jesus.)

Slice of Vatican life

As he cleaned his teeth with a gold toothpick, Pope Benedict XVI urged world leaders on Monday to try to reduce the growing gap between the rich and the poor...

I wonder if he was sitting on his gold throne as he said this. Though I don't know the answer to this question, I have it on good authority that when he finished the speech, he spat on the Vatican floor and said, "Good! Now we can get back to persecuting the gays. Bring me my high-heeled red shoes! And get Timmeh in here. That boy is so damn good at this!"