April 20, 2015

All Radiant

My headline sounds like the title for a religious post, eh? Don't worry. You'll never find one of those here. This post is about the mundane topic of doing laundry.

The headline is actually the name of a laundry product. At least, it seems to be called All Radiant. It's hard to tell. The word "All" is high up on the label, but then it says "Radiant" in largish letters a bit under that. In between, it informs us that the product is a "stain lifter". And hoo boy, it really is.

Living in upstate NY, it's hard to get your whites clean. If you put normal old bleach in the wash, the whites come out brown because of hard water. Over the years, through trial and painful error, we learned that if you use non-chlorine bleach, your clothes stay white. I did this for a while, but later ignored the whole issue by never buying anything white. However, that was then and this is now -- I've got a lot of white shirts these days.

So there I was in the supermarket, looking for non-chlorine bleach and...nada. Not one bleach product said "non-chlorine" on the label. It seems there was a sea change while I was busy wearing only colors. Anyway, I bought All Radiant and it blasted my clothes to a shocking white. (And you can use it on colors, too. I'll never understand this.)

But here's the thing. Although my whites were whiter than I'd ever hoped for -- they stunk of flowers. Oy, the stink! So I looked at the label. Nowhere on it did it say, in large block letters, "STINKS OF FLOWERS".

I don't think that's fair. There should be a law that says if your product stinks of chemicals flowers, you are required to post this info on the label. This way, people like me could avoid it like the plague, and people who like that sort of thing could flock to it.
"Oh, look Harry. Here's one that says it stinks of flowers! That sounds so lovely. Let's get it!"

"Oh, yes Madge. A product that stinks of flowers would truly match our lifestyle. We adore a good flowery stink. Tell you what -- when we get home, let's pour it all over the house!"
Seriously, how can a product be sold without mentioning that it stinks to high heaven? As for me, although it works splendidly I'll never buy it again. Meanwhile, I have to wash the stink out of my whites today. All Radiant. Ugh.

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