Religious fools will go wild

So there wasn't one meteor/asteroid event yesterday, there were two. You already know that. But you're wrong, Blanche, you're wrong. There were three.

HAVANA (AP) — Cuba apparently experienced a phenomenon similar to the meteorite that detonated over Russia this week, island media reported, with startled residents describing a bright light in the sky and a loud explosion that shook windows and walls. 

This happened on Tuesday evening. Hoo boy! Are the religious loons gonna go nuts, or what? Three close passes, one of which almost hit. What could it mean? Is jeebus pranking us? Is he unhappy? I expect to see many priests saying stupid things today.

But why do they never say the obvious? The meteorite over Russia was god's way of warning Russians about the dangerous theocracy they're establishing. Jeebus was saying, "church and state don't mix!"

And the asteroid passing over Indonesia was god saying, "Muslim terrorism is an atrocity! Give up religion! Give up the idea of gods entirely!"

And as for Cuba, god is happy because travel to and from Cuba has resumed. This one was a form of celebratory fireworks. Now, let's see what the crazy priests have to say. Should be fun!

Cosmos in synch with GOP

As if to highlight the latest ugly turn by the GOP, there will be a giant coat hanger in the sky this week.

Some evening this week, if you turn your binoculars east-southeast and look  midway up from the horizon to the region of the sky roughly halfway between the bright stars Vega and Altair you will discover Brocchi's Cluster in the rather dim and nondescript constellation of Vulpecula, the Little Fox. (Snip.) Those who have seen it have described it as a rather curious grouping of about a dozen tiny stars looking very much like an inverted coat hanger.

Hallelujah! The end of abortion is nigh! The sky (which is controlled by Jeebus) tells us so. Or is this a sign from some other god, telling us that we must keep abortion on the books lest women resort to hangers to end their pregnancies?

Signs are notoriously difficult to interpret. Hopefully, Pat Robertson or Bill Donohue will step in to tell us what this means. Or perhaps dog will visit me and give me a hint. I'll get back to you immediately if he does.