I love Jeff Francoeur

Jeff as a Met.

Jeff Francoeur is one of those guys who make baseball fun. He was on the Mets for a while and I fell in love with him. Not like a gay thing, like a baseball thing. He's just a happy, positive guy who really wants to help the team out. And he's talented. What more could you ask? (Okay, consistency.)

This little story is right in line with his personality. What can I say? I love the guy.

A question for the jerks in the stands

This is addressed to the people who sit behind home plate at a baseball game and wave madly at the camera throughout the entire game, a telephone glued to their heads all the while.

Ahem.

Why do you do this? Does your family have particular difficulty recognizing your face? In these shots there are typically about six to twelve people visible behind the batter. Your family can't tell which one is you? 

A simple smile isn't enough? Do you want to look like a fool on national TV? I really don't get it. What purpose does the waving serve other than to identify you as an idiot?

One final question: do you even like baseball?

Question for longtime baseball fans

Big Papi, as if you didn't know.

How did you watch baseball before TiVo came along? I mean, how could you? Baseball is wall-to-wall commercials. It's literally infested with them.

Every pitching change brings a commercial. And if they change pitchers after every single batter: too bad. You get commercials after every change. And not short ones, either.

While the game is on, the announcers inject commercials right into their commentary -- as if it's an old Burns & Allen show, fer god's sake. Even the damn graphics have commercials built into them. And I won't even mention the physical stadium, which is literally tattooed with product names.

Strangest of all is that the commercials themselves come with commercials. I'm always dumbfounded when they got to break, saying "This pitching change brought to you by Toyota." What exactly is the benefit here that I should be thankful Toyota is providing for me? Since the commercial is the only thing "brought to" me during the pitching change, and it's a Taco Bell commercial, I'm not sure what it means to say "this pitching change brought to you by Toyota." It's insane. There are layers upon layers of commercials. Aaaaaargh!

The only way I can watch a game is with one finger hovering over the fast-forward button. And I would never watch a game in real-time. Never.

So, tell me. How did you survive this commercial onslaught in the days before TiVo? I only came to baseball full-time about five years ago. In other words, TiVo was always available to me as a fan. But you didn't have that. So tell me: how the hell did you survive baseball without TiVo?