Ever since I mentioned that I sleep on a doggie bed (i.e., a mattress on the floor), I've been inundated with requests from readers. They say, "Oh, Keith, I want to have a doggie bed too! But I don't know how to handle my fears of...you know." I've probably gotten hundreds of such emails, if not thousands.
It's really quite simple. Here are the Three Rules of Having a Doggie Bed:
First Rule:
There are no spiders anywhere in your home. Why would they be? You're a very clean person.
Second Rule:
There is no such thing as a spider. Spiders come from dreams. They aren't real. So never worry about encountering a spider.
Third Rule
Get white sheets and blankets so you'll be able to see the spiders clearly as they march onto your doggie bed.
Special Bonus Rule:
Never look at this photo.
It's really quite simple. Here are the Three Rules of Having a Doggie Bed:
First Rule:
There are no spiders anywhere in your home. Why would they be? You're a very clean person.
Second Rule:
There is no such thing as a spider. Spiders come from dreams. They aren't real. So never worry about encountering a spider.
Third Rule
Get white sheets and blankets so you'll be able to see the spiders clearly as they march onto your doggie bed.
Special Bonus Rule:
Never look at this photo.
1 comment:
Shhh, Nicko is deathly afraid of spiders. He will be relieved to know they do not exist. I envy your prowess to made it to floor level to sleep and up again in the morning. I would need the assist of a crane, metal or feathered, just something that could lift me up.
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