Wolfote or...?

I wrote a post the other day about the wolfote that roam the horse farm where I live. Weird. But now I'm thinking they're even weirder.

They only howl at the moon when it's full. So I'm thinking these aren't mere wolfotes (a cross between wolves, coyotes and dogs), they may actually be werewolfotes! Jeebus. Scary, huh?

And that would mean that some of the people living on this farm aren't...people. They're werewolfotes! Jeebus again! I've been thinking about this for a while. It sounds like there are about 14 "wolfotes" howling at the moon, when they really get going. That would mean that 14 people on this farm aren't, you know, people.

In the coming days, I'm going to try to figure out who is and who isn't a werewolfote. I've been reading up on them and it seems they smell like cookies. Oh no, wait a minute; it's saints that smell like cookies. Well, I'll figure it out. They must smell funny in some fashion. Or perhaps the air tingles around them. Or something.

Werewolfotes, beware. I am on the case. And readers, expect further tales...if I survive.

Image of German woodcut of werewolf: Wikipedia Commons

True elegance

One of the (few) things that horrified me when I moved into my new place was that there was no room in the bathroom for a traditional wall-mounted toilet paper dispenser. A vision of toilet paper sitting on the floor seemed to characterize my future. I was so horrified that I searched Amazon until I found the wildly elegant item you see at left (or above if you're on a mobile device).

Two points

1. It works great! In fact, it's way better than wall-mounted dispensers. I'll bet you're tired of getting chest cramps as you try to reach the TP. I certainly was. With this little gem, you place the dispenser where you want it: right in front of you. It's ultra EZ. And after seeing how well it works, you come to realize that this tacky item is indispensable. But you're still...a tad ashamed.

2. But then you watch House Hunters International on HGTV (because it's not baseball season, so what can you do?) and you discover something. In an episode where a couple was viewing a way-too-expensive, high-end Swedish apartment -- there was my mobile toilet paper dispenser, standing proudly next to the toilet. It was a feature, not a bug.

These days, I am so proud of my toilet paper holder I could bust. It's the most elegant thing I've ever seen. (If you want one because you're jealous of me -- admit it; you are -- here's a link.)

Noted in passing

AP today:

BALTIMORE — The nation's Roman Catholic bishops, at an annual assembly Monday, gave two standing ovations to the Vatican's U.S. ambassador who was behind Pope Francis' controversial meeting with Kim Davis.

No one in the filthy Roman Catholic landscape is more disgusting than the US Council of Catholic Bishops. Appalling creatures, each and every one. If there is a hell (and of course, there isn't), that is where these men belong.

Fighting tooth and nail against the love of two people -- because Jesus. Ugh. Just ugh.