A painful day in sports

I found it agonizing to watch the Giants game last night. Jeebus didn't want Eli to win. I guess it's that simple. But seriously, two interceptions in the first five minutes? Dog!

And of course, all the while I was flicking between the football game and the baseball game. Alas, I found no surcease in this manner. The evil Tigers beat the wondrous A's.

Truly, 'twas a painful day in sports. The Mudville nine come to mind. Anyone out there watch the games?

Maybe I'll root for the Ravens

Not every football player is homophobic. Terrell Suggs of the Ravens countered Chris Culliver's homophobia with these remarks:

Asked if he would have a problem with a gay teammate, Suggs answered, “Absolutely not.” Suggs then added that the rest of the team would welcome a gay teammate as well.
“We wouldn’t have a problem with it,” Suggs said. “We don’t care. Our biggest thing in the locker room is to just have fun and stay loose. We don’t really care too much about that. We’re a football team. I said it yesterday; everybody deserves a certain amount of privacy. Who cares? Whatever a person’s choice is, it’s their choice.”
Suggs said the Ravens’ locker room is a welcoming environment.
“On this team, with so many different personalities, we just accept people for who they are and we don’t really care too much about a player’s sexuality,” Suggs said. “To each their own. You know who you are, and we accept you for it.”

Hmmm. If I root for the Ravens, I'm rooting for the sexy manager. Hmmmmmmmm.

Football talk (sorta)

Jim Harbaugh

No one is talking about the most important factor in the superbowl matchup.

John Harbaugh, the Ravens' manager, is way cuter than his brother, Jim Harbaugh, who manages the 49ers.

John Harbaugh

Nevertheless, Jim's team will win because they're my favorite. Sometimes in life, you have to toss looks aside. It's sad, but necessary.

I mean, compare them. That's John on the right, and Jim up top. Clearly John is way sexier than Jim. Clearly.

It's hard to root for the less-cute guy. It really is. But I will.

Football Sunday

Here's the way I want the day to play out. First, Joe Buck calls in with a terrible flu and says he can't do the Fox broadcast of the 49ers game. That would be a major plus but I'm not counting on it. I figure I'll have to watch the game with no sound. But the 49ers win, either way. And in the second game, the Patriots beat the Ravens. (I think the 49ers can beat the Patriots more easily than the Ravens, so this is what I'm hoping for.)

Who do you want to see win? And do you also hope Buck has a dreadful flu? (Mind you, we don't want him to get really sick; just enough that he can't do the broadcast. Hmmm, maybe it's time for imprecatory prayer, eh? It's the holy way, you know. And we do so want to be holy.)

Update: Well, I got my 49ers wish. They won! Hooray for Kaepernick et al. But the Ravens beat the Patriots. That's okay. I figure Kaepernick can outclass Flacco. The 49ers have to win. Have to.

A thought as we enjoy the playoffs

When football players "celebrate" in the end zone, it seems to bring out their inner Carmen Miranda. Just thought I'd mention this.

I've got the flu or a cold or something. Be back soon. Go RG3!

Lotsa football

I watched the Army-Navy game yesterday. I swear, it's like I'm turning into a straight guy.

Nah. I've got too good a sense of color.

Football is not like baseball

You probably know that football is different from baseball. But it comes as news to me because until this year, I never watched football. Sure, I caught a game now and then but I never got into it. This is the first season where I've truly enjoyed the game. That's putting it mildly. I'm addicted.

One difference between the sports is that football players are much more affectionate toward opposing players. They're always helping each other up and patting butts and bopping hands on helmets. It's much friendlier than baseball, where you'll sometimes see a runner talk to a first baseman, or a batter say something to a catcher. But you certainly won't see a hug or any other physical expression of affection. In fact, I remember the fans booing Ike Davis, the Mets first baseman, when he offered to take an opposing player's gloves and pads across the field during a game -- to save time, according to his later statement. This was seen as extremely poor behavior. How dare he be nice to an opposing player?

But football guys bump body-parts and exchange friendly remarks with opposing players all the time. They like them. I suppose it's because there's much more physical contact in football. The players are like puppies in a box, crawling over each other in a friendly, intimate way that breeds a brotherly familiarity.

Just noted in passing. I love this game. Can't wait till Sunday. One last note: I wish they'd spread the games out. There are other days in the week, you know. Even with two tuners, it's impossible to catch all the games I'd like to see. Doesn't make sense.

What's with all the flags?

There's one thing I hate about football: the endless flags. They're very irritating and they seem to come after nearly every play. It reminds me of when I was in Catholic elementary school and the nuns would click those evil little things they held in their hands. One click meant kneel; two clicks meant pray or speak in tongues -- I forget which. It was just like these incessant flags: annoying as hell.

If there's no obvious evidence of knife-play on the field and no weapons are discharged, I say get on with it. Play the damn game. Sheesh.

The photo above was taken by cousin Carmine at yesterday's Jets game. He brought his son, Nick. Good seats, eh? It was Nick's first game and it was an odd one. The Jets' Sanchez seemed determined to lose the game. I mean, the guy threw two interceptions in the first quarter! And another later in the game. They finally pulled him and put a new kid in his spot -- and won the game. That's not the most exciting way to win, but the Jets will take it. I hope Nick enjoyed the game. He's a great, wonderfully baseball-mad kid. Right up my alley!

The National Christian Football League

What's up with all this Christian nonsense on the field? It's bad enough that in baseball, players make the damn sign of the cross before every catch, pitch, hit, run, etc. But in football, it reaches new extremes.

The other day I was watching a game. I'm not sure who was playing. One of the players got hurt and both teams hustled themselves into a circle, knelt and prayed while holding onto one another. Awwww, now isn't that cute?

No, it's not. It's disgusting. How do you think non-Christian players feel when this sort of nonsense happens? There is real pressure for them to drop to their knees and join the idiots in the circle, and that's wrong. 

I'm going to do my human-rights trick and switch categories, so readers can see what's going on here. Let's suppose a whole bunch of gay players made it into the NFL. I'm sure there are many already, but let's suppose the number gets larger and all the players are openly gay.

How would straight fans feel if the gay players were always kissing each other on the field, and when they scored, they pulled out gay flags and waved them proudly? How does that seem to you?

Of course they shouldn't do that. There's no place for gayness on the field because it's a football game, not a gay get-together. It's the same damn thing with Christian prayer. It doesn't belong in sports, period.

If players want to pray, they should go to church more often and get it out of their systems so they don't feel compelled to foul the field with prayer. It's not an inclusive activity that welcomes all players into the fold. Undoubtedly, it makes many non-Christian players feel sick to their stomachs.

Prayer in any sport is wrong. Sports are about athletics, not a magic man in the sky. Players need to shove the prayers back in their asses and get on with the game.

Baseball's just the start

"Oh, sure," they said. "Watch baseball. It's innocent."

Uh huh. But what they didn't tell me is that baseball is a gateway drug, leading to football and other scandalous perversions. It happened to me. I know.

I thought I was safe but I was naive. Now I'm barreling down that wide dark road, with pigskin everywhere I look -- and nary a safe place to hide. Football sucked me into its warm, fragrant, testosterone-laden embrace -- and there's no way out. I'm hooked.

I can't get over it. Baseball was just the gateway drug. I had no idea.

The public humiliation of athletes

That awful moment (Photo/NESN)

I'm pleased that the Giants won yesterday. After all the doubts and snide remarks, they're heading to the super bowl. But the game that stays with me is the earlier one between the Ravens and Patriots.

In the last minute of the game, Ravens' kicker Billy Cundiff blew his team's chance to get to the super bowl. All he had to do was kick the ball a meager distance to get a field goal that would have tied the game -- and he blew it.

Will anyone remember anything else from this guy's career? It took a few seconds to make the kick but those seconds will haunt him for the rest of his life. Athletes pay such a high price for these public failures. It's brutal. Here's one excerpt from the article:

Will he be back kicking field goals for the Ravens in 2012? It’s hard to see it after his critical mistake. You know the fans won’t be forgiving him anytime soon.

The guy's life is ruined. And all he did was miss one kick (after kicking well early in the game). For that failure, everyone's calling him a "choke artist" today. It's sad. One lousy kick!

I can't believe the Jets won!

This is a photo of our outsized Jets manager here in New York -- Rex Ryan, he of the big everything, especially mouth. But we love the guy. (And will do so until he fails; that's the agreement.) 

But the thing is, the Jets just beat the Patriots! This is totally impossible yet it happened. I saw it, so I know.

There were some weird moments afterward, at least for me. I found myself aghast (and laughing) to see Rex take the field after the win and roughly push aside anyone who was in his way. But I mean he shoved them the hell out of his way.  It was an amazing display of aggression and privilege. How dare anyone be in his path?! Didn't they know who he was?!

One poor photographer was standing still, shooting video with a big camera on his shoulder. His back was to Rex so he had no idea what was about to run him down. With no one else anywhere around, Rex picked a path that went right through the photographer. He could easily have gone around him, yet he slammed into the guy's back with an outstretched hand that never stopped moving. It was like a bulldozer hit the guy.

Whoa, Rex. If you're taking steroids, big guy, stop now. Oh yeah, and congratulations, Rex! We love ya, guy!