About "choosing" to be gay

We gay people have been trying to clarify this issue for ages. But it's not working.

Bigots love to talk about how sexual orientation is different from race because we chose to be gay. Uh-huh, just like they chose to be straight. But this obvious retort doesn't seem to have diminished the vast number of people who rely on this senseless "argument" to put us down.

I used to harangue people who use the term "sexual preference" instead of "sexual orientation". Preference pretty much puts it right out there. The message packaged with the phrase is that we "chose" to be gay because we "prefer" it. In the old days, I'd try to fight this by saying that the term "sexual preference" is incorrect since it implies that we stayed up late one night and decided to go gay.

But the astute observer will notice that my efforts and those of others have had virtually no effect on the bigots. Because they're stupid, they don't even understand the distinction. It seems we need a new move -- and I've got just the thing.

From now on, let's call ourselves The Chosen. This has several bonuses. First, it positively reeks of religion and let's face it, religion is our primary enemy in this fight. If people didn't believe in fairytale gods, gays might be fine. But no, teh bible and all.

But the phrase also screams the truth, that we did not "choose" this orientation. We were, in fact, "chosen". BTW, I think we should use the upper case T and C, to make it sing. We're not the chosen, we're "The Chosen". Okay, kids. You know what to do. Spread this far and wide.

Choice, my ass. We are and always will be The Chosen.

It ain't a choice

Today,  John Suntan Boehner said that being gay is a matter of choice. Well, I guess it's settled then.

When I hear people say this -- and it's almost always a guy -- I can't help but wonder. Could it be they want to have sex with men but "choose" not to? And therefore they see gayness as a choice? It's bumble-headed to think like this but it sort of makes (bumble-headed) sense. Dog knows, these guys aren't deep thinkers.

It's not a choice. I've was always gay, even when I was a kid. I think pretty much all gay and lesbian people can confirm this perception: we were always gay or lesbian. It's not like it's a difficult thing to figure out: you find men or women sexy -- either or, usually. And no matter what, if you are minimally conscious you know which sex attracts you. It ain't rocket science. Closet cases (and "ex-gays") may hide from themselves for a long time but that's just a sick game. And it doesn't change the essential truth: they're gay and they were always gay.

Who knows? Maybe a lot of these "straight" guys who spend enormous amounts of their time attacking gay people will "go gay" at some point. I wouldn't be surprised. But if this happens, they were always gay. Choice has nothing to do with sexual orientation and I think everyone with a head on their shoulders knows this by now.