About those nonexistent demons

Ed Brayton reports that Karl Payne, an "expert demonologist", said the following about American Halloween traditions, such as dressing up as a witch, a zombie or a demon:

“When you live in [a] culture that glamorizes this, when you live in a culture that encourages people to get involved in these type of activities, do you not think that there are some people, from all age groups, who get lured into the occult through the culture we promote?” Payne asked.

Uh, Karl...there is no occult. No one believes in this stuff. Young people who claim to be "Satanists" are just kids who use "magic" as an excuse to take drugs and have sex while feeling they are one with their favorite heavy metal band. There is no belief involved. Only crazy religious people think about this stuff. Covens, for instance, do not exist. And even if they did, the "coven" would just be a group of lonely people who get together to read from old books. Completely harmless.

Repeat after me: there is no occult. It's just a scary term that exists in religious people's heads -- including the head of Karl Payne. He's trying to scare stupid people into reading his silly book on demons. Good luck with that, Karl.

Pope is fun tweeter

VATICAN CITY (AP) — Pope Benedict XVI is giving a shout-out to an anti-abortion rally in Washington, tweeting that politicians should protect the unborn and "promote a culture of life." 

Catholic Church teaching holds that life begins at conception and ends at sexual maturity.

Wow, now that the pope's tweeting, everything is so much better. People all around the world agree. The pope's tweets are fixing everything.

And -- be still my heart -- I heard there's gonna be a popey guy app released by the end of next month! Can you imagine the wisdom we'll be in for? Wow! 

Now that the pope is tech-enabled, surely the first second coming of Christ can't be far off. Wowee! Thanks, popey guy, for everything.